Life in the Twilight Zone - Done

Well not done done, Mum is still kicking LOL. Done with the house, done. Finally.

There is so much to do when selling, it's not all about keeping the place clean and tidy for open houses, or the odd drop ins. It's not about keeping in touch with your Solicitor and Real Estate Agent. It's not about changing addresses, and closing services. It's not about making sure all the bills are paid. At least it hasn't been for me. Sure those things need doing, but they are minor compared with dealing with the home of someone who has lived there for 60 years. Someone who built the house and has never lived anywhere else. And it's all about their fucking crap. 

I get that there is going to be stuff, I have stuff, I'm sure you have stuff, but bloody hell, my mother had S T U F F. Yep, need to use caps for that one. I had 2 weeks annual leave, wanted to get away totally for the first week and a bit, so headed down to my daughters. Sounded crazy to her that I wanted to go down and relax when she has 4 kids 7 and under. But after everything that's been going on with Mum, it was like stepping into another world. A world of screaming kids, kids that would throw a tantrum over a missing lego piece, kids that would be all over you, and not let you watch what you wanted on TV lol. And I loved it, every single second of it. No sleep ins, but lots of naps, which didn't necessarily involve sleeping, just time reading in bed. At home I would of been stressed to the max, there, I had nothing to worry about. It was fan bloody tastic. 

Second week, not so much. My brother had found a place to move to, woohoo. But this of course involved getting him and his crap out of the house in my last week of leave. Naturally he didn't have leave, so I was doing the main part all week. I had to deal with his depression over having to leave the only home he's ever known, and his stress, as well as my own. He has had months to get organised, but was he? Nope, not a fucking chance of that. He also had no clue what he was doing about finding a place as he has never had to before. So I had to teach him, cause I've done it a gazillion times. 

I told him to cull his shit. He went from a 3 bedroom house, with heaps of storage and space, to a one bedroom, with nada lol. I walked through the place with him, and his form, and noted all the shit that they hadn't put down as being broken, or damaged. He asked why he had to and I said, do you want to be blamed when and if you ever move out? To me it's logical, but to someone who's never done it, it's weird. That first week, I took a load down every day. Kitchen stuff he wanted, books, clothes, linen. The house wasn't anywhere near empty even with that. On the last weekend, I hired a ute for the Saturday. We had a few bigish pieces of stuff that had to come up here, and the rest of his million and one crates of fucking books. We also stopped off while we had the ute and picked him up a fridge and couch. Mums fridge is a huge side by side 2 door, no way could he fit that in, so that's my sons now, and the couch was an old shit thing 3 seater that he hated. He had the cash so we got a smaller fridge and 2 seater couch for him. 

We loaded in crates, boxes, loose crap both small and big, drove up and down, and still it wasn't enough. Sunday meant more trips in the car, up and down, round and round. And he was still packing shit up as we went. Why the hell one person needs 6 fucking back packs when they only use 1, is beyond me. And yet the kitchen stuff was only 2 to 3 boxes, boggles my mind lol. He currently has 4 bookshelf's in his bedroom, and one in the lounge room, and they are all double shelved (2 rows of books on each shelf) and he still has more to unpack. I've got another bookshelf for him I've yet to take down as well. He has no wardrobe as that was kind of built in at mums, I say kind of cause it was huge and was built in the bedroom, couldn't possible move it. He also had 2 push bikes to take down, but what we did with them, was I'd have a load in the car, and he'd ride one down meet me there and I'd drive him back up for the next bike. Did mean I had a bit of extra space in the car lol. 

He finally had enough, we had his essentials there, and he abandoned the rest. Then began the next stage. Cleaning the rest of the crap out. 

I had to go back to work on the Monday, but I'd had a contact from the Real Estate come out on Sunday while we were there, and I showed him around the place, and said it all has to go, by Friday lol. He was lovely, he really was. Didn't faze him at all, not even my brothers room lol. I had already been taking loads of crap to the tip, and when I say crap I mean, broken things and expired food (6 garbage bags of it), and had bought a lot of cleaning products up here. But still that wasn't enough, and I was done with a capital D. He started Monday, and finally finished Friday morning. 

There was stuff under the house, I can blame both Mum and Dad for that lot. When they had the kitchen redone, everything went under the house, they didn't  chuck it out and it was useless crap. There was also crap in the yard, same thing, just shoved in a corner and the weeds grew over it. Everything I hadn't been able to see in the garage sale, and no one wanted, had to go. Furniture, Mum had decided she wanted that used to be my Nana's, it wasn't needed, she just wanted it. She had enough cutlery to host the Olympics, but not enough plates so they'd have to bring their own. Saucepans with handles falling off, that had been replaced with new shiny ones, but never thrown out. Fry pans that were burnt or broken in some other way, and newer ones, more than 2 people would ever need. Cake tins, muffin tins, bread tins, cooling racks, trays, all the latest and all the freaking oldest. Plastic containers, no lids, lids, no containers, plastic cups, paper plates, coffee cups, glasses, 7 bread boards, 3 knife sets in blocks, ladles, potato mashes, potato peelers, the list is fucking endless. The spice and sauce cupboard was filled to the brim, and yet when we went through it, there was basically 4 sauces and about 10 spices that we kept, 90% were expired. She had little plastic organisers, freezer bags (unopened packs) in every single cupboard. Sandwich bags all over the place, yet only one lot of cling wrap and alfoil, 2 of the things she would of used the most lol. 

I bagged up as much as I could and everything went into the almost empty back room. I did nothing in my brothers room, except look at it and cry internally. Mums room had already been cleaned out, just one bit of furniture that was broken to go. And I'd actually vacuumed in there lol. The spare room, had been cleaned out already, only had my brothers pc and desk left, so we took that down to his new place. The bathroom, arrrggghhh, forgot I hadn't cleaned out all the drawers, so had to throw out bags and bags of make up that was all almost used or expired. Lounge room, had assorted stuff in it, lounge, desk, coffee tables that had broken legs (which is what every home needs just in case), books my brother abandoned, broken pottery, a small bookshelf that she'd used for her phone, and the fold out table that was a wedding present. Everything from the kitchen had been bagged so that was empty, and I'd already done the laundry, so it was just the backroom, which had a dresser another big desk, and a sewing machine cabinet, and all the bags of crap I'd thrown out there. In my brothers room, the wardrobe had to be dismantled and the wall unit he had in there as well. He had crap still in the wardrobe and a trunk full of magazines, also a porn collection under his bed lol. I'm pretty sure the room hasn't been vacuumed or dusted in 30 years, could be more, but I opened the windows and walked out. 

Then there was the shed. 2 lawn mowers that didn't work. Enough gardening tools for the gardeners at Buckingham Palace (most still in wrappings and unused), old broken stools, old broken pots, another bike (broken a bit, my son took that to fix up) and crap crap and more crap. She'd even put boxes of books in there and forgotten about them, so naturally they were all just rubbish. Old pots and hoses in the yard, old garbage bins, compost bins, and an old bit of our old clothes line which was pulled down years and years ago. I'd arranged to have the asbestos from under the house removed, but they found more, sigh. Another bike, assorted paint and poisons all in the shed and under the house. 5 days it took him. 5 fucking days to get it all cleaned out. The house was by no means a hoarders house, you could walk around it free and easy, but because of all the storage, everything was hidden away. I'd gotten rid of some stuff before I left, our local council does a free clean up service twice a year, but they will only take so much, and the house was still filled. 

I don't know if it's because I've moved so much, or because of Mum, but I can move my whole house in one day with a truck, or a ute, and I know this because I've done it. And I did it with 3 kids and their crap as well. So 7 days to move my brother, and a gazillion days to clean out a house. I have cleaned off my old bookshelf for my brother, and have culled the small number of books I had, I've culled clothes, with more to go, and my cupboards are full, but any food that expires, goes, any broken pots or whatever, goes. I'm not keeping jack. My kids will have to dispose of stuff, sure, but it won't take them as long as it's taken me, it will take them a day and that's it, done. 

I am so glad it's all over, and I can now relax a bit. Life still goes on, Mum still has Alzheimers, we are all getting older lol, but one chapter has been closed completely and I will never have to do that again. Please, don't be my mum or brother, cull your shit. Remember that if you don't, your heirs will have to, and why would you do that to them? They won't have the time to miss you because they'll be cleaning out your S T U F F and thinking fuck me, how did this happen. I've changed all addresses, shut off services, redirected the mail, and returned the foxtel box, I'm pretty sure that's it LOL. I still have stuff of Mums here, I've saved memories and trinkets, I've got photo boxes and albums, but it's all culled to the extreme and packed neatly away. I'll do another cull now the house is gone, and will empty her files of non essentials, and get on with life. 

Wouldn't mind a weekend at a spa, or just being pampered lol. 

Catch yas

Cathy

Life in the Twilight Zone - A Day Out

First full day back home from being a way amongst 4 grand kids, and no stress. Yep, that's right no stress, sure the kids are loud, but it wasn't stressful. Sure they have tantrums left right and centre, but I didn't stress. The drive is long and boring, but no stress, it was just all so relaxing to be able to get away without worrying about Mum. It's the first holiday I've had in ages that she wasn't in hospital, or at home calling me up constantly. It was fucking awesome. 

I did feel a bit guilty for missing her birthday, but I sent her flowers, and if they hadn't of told her it was her birthday she wouldn't of known lol. I can say that with a straight face, as she had her calendar turned to the month of November lol. 

I'd arranged to take her to the solicitor today to get her will done, need it done before she gets too bad and that will cause all sorts of complications. It's basic, she has nothing, and nothing is what we'll get lol. I arrived at the Nursing Home at 8 am, knowing that she would dawdle, and she did. She was having breakfast when I arrived, got all excited and eager to go, but not until she'd had her coffee, sigh. She also had a bowl of cereal, some toast and some fruit, but it's not like we were in a hurry or anything. 

I wanted her to get changed, because she was wearing winter gear, and I knew it was going to be a stinking hot day, and it has been. So it's open the cupboard and gets out her make up, she already had makeup on, goes into the bathroom, "Oh I forgot my lipstick." comes out and opens the cupboard, forgets what she wanted and says "I need shampoo". Goes back into the bathroom, "Oh I forgot my lipstick." comes back out, opens the cupboard, and yep you guessed it, mentioned something else, and forgets her lipstick again. 4 times she did that, but who's counting. 

I managed to get her into a nice t shirt and no jacket. She did insist on bringing the jacket though, it stayed in the car till we got back lol. 

Finally on our way, later than I would of liked, especially with the traffic in the morning. But off we went. She mentioned she needed shampoo 5 times, I assured her she didn't each time, and she got the look. She purses her lips and acts all huffy like she knows she's right and your a fucking idiot. For the record she has 2 full bottles of shampoo, so no she didn't need any, unpurse those lips lol. I chatted about my time away, she looked confused, so pretty normal really. 

The solicitor was already to go when we got there. And he got the will written out and sent it off to be typed. Saving us having to hunt for parking twice. He made the mistake of mentioning her being left handed, so she regaled us with the same story of her childhood, and how a teacher had told her Mum that she'd never be able to be a teacher if she was a leftie, and Mum proved her wrong and did just that. It's funny the first time you hear it, not so much when your sitting in a hot little room and she's retelling for the 4th time, just in case we missed it. She wants to be cremated, so I'm pushing for a Viking funeral. There's a lovely lake in Wentworth Falls that would be perfect. Unfortunately she doesn't seem too keen, but hey she'll be dead so she won't know lol. 

Will signed and back to the car we go. I told her I'd take her for a run past Andrews new place so she could see where he was going to be living. She was very excited, then paid no attention to the unit, but kept going on about the cemetery across the road. Took her to the Plaza, parked her at a table and ordered coffee and cake while I ducked into Aldi and grabbed a couple of things.I decided to take her into the pharmacy cause I knew she wanted some new make up, didn't need it just wanted it lol. I showed her were the makeup was then went and got the hair stuff she actually needed and some sani pads for her. I come back she's picked out an incredibly dark foundation, so I put that back and got a neutral one, got the pursed lips again lol. I took everything up to pay, turn around and she's gone. Naturally she's up the shampoo aisle. "Mum, you don't need shampoo." "Yes I do, I guarantee I need it." "Well I guarantee you don't, come on we have to get to Big W." Lips pursed she followed. 

I head to the toys, with Mum and her walker. Pick out some lego, then turn to talk to her, and she's nowhere to be seen. Naturally I panic, she could be anywhere, could of been abducted by aliens, or a pervert could of offered her a snickers to get in his van. But nope she was off asking someone where the shampoo was lol. Dragged her back and told her we weren't shopping for her, she had no money, she goes "I just sold my house I have money, sniff". For the record, yes the house is sold, she had no part in it, and settlement isn't till the 20th, so she has no money. 

I grabbed something else for Nash, then let her go back to the hair stuff, I knew where it was without asking lol, and let her grab some hair styling shit. That was all she needed anyway. I also bought her a snickers, so she isn't tempted to get in a strange van lol. I decided to stop in her hometown Blaxland, and treat her to lunch. Made the mistake of taking her through the arcade, past IGA and naturally she wants to go in and get her hair stuff, oh and fruit. "Mum, hair stuff in the car, fruit at nursing home, lets get lunch." Sitting down to eat and she asks me how my older brother is, "So how's Anthony is he still involved with that religious group?" "Ummm, what?" "You know the group that his wifes family are involved in. It worrries me that him and the boys could get trapped there." "Mum, Anthony is not involved in a religious group, if he went to church it would explode or his skin would come out in boils. Jann is not involved in a religious group, and neither is her family. The boys aren't boys they are in their 30's." Her lips started to purse, "Don't purse your lips at me Mum. You know Anthony, do you seriously think religion is his thing?" She started to say "But, I know, oh well I guess you know. My mind is not that great right now. Can we stop into IGA I need shampoo?" I refrained from banging my head on the table, it wasn't easy but I managed lol. 

She wanted to stop by the house, just for one last goodbye. I dreaded her bursting into tears, but felt she should. Plus she needed to go to the toilet lol. We pull up, and off she goes. She was taking forever in the toilet, so I hunted her down, and found her in the bathroom, cleaning. "Mum, why are you cleaning?" "So we can sell the house." "It's been sold Mum, no need to clean anymore." "Oh, well I'll just check if there's any shampoo here then." She didn't want a last lingering look at the house, she went to the loo then it was off again. 

Oh the way back to the Nursing Home, "Oh, I wish we'd gone and seen Andrews new place." "We did, you looked at the cemetery." "Oh. Do we have time to drive past the house, one last time." "You just went and weed in the toilet there, one last time Mum." "Oh, well I don't remember." No shit Sherlock lol. "Can we stop in Springwood, I need some hair stuff?" On reflection she's lucky I didn't run us into a tree, or truck. Naturally I would of tried to get the main impact on her side lol. She rambled off and on the whole way back, mostly about hair stuff, I ignored her, just nodded and said, sure, next time, uh huh a lot lol. Once back at the Nursing Home, she went straight to her wardrobe and opened it with a flourish, "There see, no shampoo." I stepped around her, reached in and pulled out not one, but 2 brand new bottles. "What's this then." "Someone must of gotten some for me, you better go see if we need to pay for them." I decided that it was a good time to say goodbye. Would be very suspicious if I take her down on the day the will gets signed lol. 

So despite all the de stressing I did, I am now feeling like I never went anywhere, and I need a holiday lol. 

Catch yas
Cathy