And if you are as old as me, you might of thought that the rest of the title was going to read Sex not Pets, sorry to disappoint LOL.
So the boy gets home from work yesterday, goes into the spare room to admire his new pet (Scar the fish) and check out the old pet (Reggie the snake). And yes I did say snake. I'm working and all I can here is no, no, no, Reggie, no. Naturally I tensed up no one likes to hear their child in distress, I say boy and child, but he is 21 LOL. Next thing he's out here, "Mum, Reggie isn't in his tank." eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, feet raised up from the floor as a shudder runs through me. It took 9 years for him to convince me to let him get a snake, and now it's missing.
He's running around like a chook with his head cut off, and I'm thinking, not my room, not my room. He asks me to help look, and I said as soon as I'm on a break I will, he's pissed off about that but I figure that's an hour for him to find Reggie without me having to help. Cause no way do I want to be searching the house for a stray snake.
After ripping apart the room and checking outside the house (yeh don't ask no idea why he'd think Reggie would just be sitting at the door waiting to come inside), still no sign of him. I realised the one good thing (if you can call it good) is that the snake cannot get outside, the gap under the doors is non existent and unless he grew hands with opposable thumbs while we weren't looking, they can't be opened.
The clock is ticking closer and closer to my break, my feet are starting to cramp, and my palms are getting all sweaty. I do not want to search for a snake, I want to sit down and relax during my short break.
Just before I go on break, I hear the boy shout, "There you are you bloody bastard." My heart started to beat again, and I let out a sigh of relief as I lowered my cramping feet to the floor.
Finally on my break I walked up to the spare room, only to see the fake foam rock decoration that was on the back of the tank, broken up and strewn all over the floor. The boy proceeded to rant, "Fucking bastard, fucking etc" pretty sure you get the picture. He'd spent the night previous sealing up all the gaps in the foam to stop Reggie from getting behind the wall, only for Reggie to find some tiny little gap and work his way into it. He was down the very bottom of the wall, almost like he'd fallen down and there was no way that we could imagine him being able to get back out.
So snake found, fake wall destroyed, Scar seemed to be almost laughing as he swam in his tank. Boy pissed off, me relieved. All is well once more LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Easy Peel!!!!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!!!
So I'm opening up some bacon on the weekend, via the easy peel option. Who the hell thought up this brilliant marketing strategy, I'd like to give them a kick in the teeth. Supposed to peel nice and easily and then we just press it back down to reseal, HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I stuck my finger nail under the flap, that was minuscule, flick flick, stuck another one under to try and split it. Still nothing. Grabbed a knife and slid it under, anything that is easy to peel should not require a knife to open, still no joy so grabbed the scissors and just cut the damn thing open. According to the directions, you just peel back and reseal, simple. Sounds like any fool could do it, well not me. I think I must get every faulty easy peel every time I buy something, cause they always end up getting opened with scissors and then shoved into a sealed container, cause it won't even reseal with staples. I'm pretty sure I can reseal it with a nail gun, but that might be a little bit extreme.
Same with the packaging that says 'Tear Here'. I try to tear there, nothing happens, it won't tear. Even if I cut across the line with scissors it still won't happen, so I have to cut under the line. I've spent a lot of time picking up stray cat food when I've gotten so frustrated with the damn thing I turn into the Hulk and just rip it. Of course then I have to pick it all up and put it in a sealed container cause the bag is now ripped to shreds and no way can it be reused.
Childproof caps, should say adult proof, they are stupid, can't get those damn things open either. When it's finally opened after much swearing, straining I finally grab a strange child of the street and they have it opened in 2 seconds then I empty my vitamins into a bottle that doesn't have a childproof cap on it, just so I can get it open without too much effort. I've got prescription drugs that come in foil, so that any 1 yr old could get at them, yet my vitamins are human proof. I'm lucky I don't have arthritis or rheumatism no way could I get them open then. Would have to resort to the chain saw.
Then there's the ring pull thingie on long life milk. You squeeze it to get a grip rip up the tab, and get sprayed with milk. I reckon that half the milk goes over me, the floor and the bench as soon as I open it. So I'm paying double for my milk. Makes me think of the juice boxes, your squeezing the box to hold it still while pushing the straw in and whoosh, it all sprays out the straw. I don't have many juice boxes these days, my kids are too old LOL. My mum did buy these plastic covers for them, they were fantastic, box slides into the hard plastic case so your squeezing that rather than the soft sides.
It seems to me that the simple things we all enjoy are just getting more and more complicated. So stock up on nail guns, duct tape, superglue, chainsaws and axes. Put them away in the kitchen instead of the shed, it will save you going out in the dark when you open some ham.
Catch yas
Cathy
I stuck my finger nail under the flap, that was minuscule, flick flick, stuck another one under to try and split it. Still nothing. Grabbed a knife and slid it under, anything that is easy to peel should not require a knife to open, still no joy so grabbed the scissors and just cut the damn thing open. According to the directions, you just peel back and reseal, simple. Sounds like any fool could do it, well not me. I think I must get every faulty easy peel every time I buy something, cause they always end up getting opened with scissors and then shoved into a sealed container, cause it won't even reseal with staples. I'm pretty sure I can reseal it with a nail gun, but that might be a little bit extreme.
Same with the packaging that says 'Tear Here'. I try to tear there, nothing happens, it won't tear. Even if I cut across the line with scissors it still won't happen, so I have to cut under the line. I've spent a lot of time picking up stray cat food when I've gotten so frustrated with the damn thing I turn into the Hulk and just rip it. Of course then I have to pick it all up and put it in a sealed container cause the bag is now ripped to shreds and no way can it be reused.
Childproof caps, should say adult proof, they are stupid, can't get those damn things open either. When it's finally opened after much swearing, straining I finally grab a strange child of the street and they have it opened in 2 seconds then I empty my vitamins into a bottle that doesn't have a childproof cap on it, just so I can get it open without too much effort. I've got prescription drugs that come in foil, so that any 1 yr old could get at them, yet my vitamins are human proof. I'm lucky I don't have arthritis or rheumatism no way could I get them open then. Would have to resort to the chain saw.
Then there's the ring pull thingie on long life milk. You squeeze it to get a grip rip up the tab, and get sprayed with milk. I reckon that half the milk goes over me, the floor and the bench as soon as I open it. So I'm paying double for my milk. Makes me think of the juice boxes, your squeezing the box to hold it still while pushing the straw in and whoosh, it all sprays out the straw. I don't have many juice boxes these days, my kids are too old LOL. My mum did buy these plastic covers for them, they were fantastic, box slides into the hard plastic case so your squeezing that rather than the soft sides.
It seems to me that the simple things we all enjoy are just getting more and more complicated. So stock up on nail guns, duct tape, superglue, chainsaws and axes. Put them away in the kitchen instead of the shed, it will save you going out in the dark when you open some ham.
Catch yas
Cathy
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