With the soon to be new season of Walking Dead starting on TV, I've been thinking. How many times have we seen Zombies taking over the world without the armed forces being able to stop them. Seriously what the hell are we paying them for if they can't kill a few dead people. They have access to the most powerful weapons in the world, and yet we see armies decimated by 10 zombies taking a stroll down the middle of a highway. And hey guys, everyone knows that the only way to kill a zombie is shoot it in the head, geez. Stop firing your machine guns in a maniacal spray that hits nothing, get the snipers out and shoot em right between the eyes. A pre teen kid can do it, a guy (a very hot guy) with a crossbow can do it, even a bunch of people with no clue how to use a gun can poke a crowbar through their brains.
Maybe our special forces need some specialist training in zombie killing. If they sit through just one episode of The Walking Dead they will be set. And stop shooting randomly, one shot through the head and the bullets will last. So a bunch of zombies has taken over a major city, sorry if there is still anyone in there not zombified, nuke the city, or really you don't even need to nuke it, just bomb it, then move in with the troops protected in tanks, and shoot any left. Zombies don't shoot back guys, they don't run, they sure as shit can't sneak up on you, they are ruled by hunger, throw down some blood and guts and lure them into your trap. The fact that everyone turns into a zombie after death without being bitten isn't really a new twist either, seen it in movies before, so be prepared for it. "Oh Mabel, looks like old Frank has gone and died. Get the pick axe." See simple.
And what's with all the sudden traffic jams all over the place. Your going to stop over a little fender bender to exchange insurance info, get real people this is the end of the world the zombie apocalypse, keep driving, worry about the damage to your car later. And for goodness sakes, stay in your damn car, why get out and abandon it in the middle of the road, you think your going to escape the shuffling herd of zombies, get real, you can run the bastards down you know. If you must abandon your vehicle cause you run out of gas or the engine dies pull over to the side of the road and abandon your vehicle, or push it to the side of the road. Try and have some common courtesy to any survivors coming behind you needing to get to a disease control centre, pull over so they can get past quickly and easily as they leave you eating their dust.
Then there's all the packing, don't forget to load your car with, oh well what do you say water and food, forget the fucking photos and suitcases loaded with clothes, your need food and water, load it up. You need weapons, juniors baseball bat will work just as well as a gun when it comes to killing a zombie. The tyre iron you just took out to put in your wife's makeup, put the fucker back. If she's dead she'll look dead, and no amount of makeup will change that.
Another thing I'd love to have explained to me, maybe this season will explain it, why the hell does all the satellite coverage stop. You've got a satellite phone, but suddenly you can't call your neighbour who also has a satellite phone, did zombies go up into space and destroy all the unmanned satellites? Must someone clock into work every day to switch them on? Sure eventually they will break down and burn up on reentry but at least for a while they should work. I get that power will cut out because it does actually need people to maintain it, but come on seriously there isn't one survivor left who can switch the power back on in our fortified town.
All of that said, I will definitely be watching when the new season starts, I love the show, I don't care that it was so easy for zombies to take over, it's all about the entertainment, it's also educational, if my neighbour turns all zombie, I know what to do before they can spread the disease. And I won't fuck around worrying about whether or not they are still in there somewhere, your a zombie fucker, your going down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Catch yas
Cathy
