Saturday morning and I'm busy working. Loving the working at home which means I don't have to get up early, get dressed and fight the commuters. I'm taking a call when the home phone rings. I have no choice but to ignore it, as I'm working, and I just knew it was Mum.
Phone stops and my mobile starts, luckily I've already got that on silent, or else my customer would of been treated to the loud sounds of Wolfmothers Woman. Press the button and shut it down.
Home phone starts again, I pick it up and hang up straight away, then it's the turn of the mobile. All I can think of is "Fuck me, what if I was sitting on the damn toilet."
I finally finish the work call and the damn home phone rings again, this time I answer it.
"Oh Cathy, I've been trying to call."
"Yeh, I know, I'm working."
"Okay, so when are you picking me up for shopping?"
"I'm not, I'm working."
"But isn't it Saturday."
"Yes Mum well done, it is Saturday but I'm working. We went shopping on Wednesday. So it's already done for this week."
"But I've got my shopping list."
"Is it all crinkly and was it in the recycling?"
"Yes, I had to dig for it."
"That's cause I threw it in there after we went shopping and got everything on the list."
"Oh, are you sure."
"Yep, gotta go Mum I'm working."
I hang up and she's still talking LOL. I finished my shift just after 4pm and at 5pm the home phone rings.
"Cathy, what time are you going to pick me up for shopping tomorrow?"
"I'm not Mum, we went shopping on Wednesday."
"Oh well your brother is worrying me, he threw out the shopping list, I just know he's doing it on purpose."
"Actually I threw it out after we'd been shopping."
"Oh well yes I know but he's worrying me and said we'd be shopping today."
"Mum, he probably didn't realise we'd already been shopping, he wasn't home, so he might not of known."
"Oh well okay then, but I need a lot of stuff."
I sighed very loudly, "Mum I'll come round tomorrow and see what you need."
"Ok then, bye."
She hangs up, before I can say bye LOL. Damn rude if you ask me LOL. So I had to go out and get some last minute presents this morning, then thought I'd call round and check on her.
"Oh hi, I wasn't expecting you today. Just want to say thanks for the other night, it was wonderful to see everyone, but so exhausting."
"Ummmm what are you talking about Mum."
"The other night you picked me up and everyone was there, was so nice."
"Must be one of those crazy dreams Mum, didn't happen."
I went off to the check the fridge, on the off chance they actually did run out of something, nope all full, just like I left it pretty much.
Sat back down with her and started filling her pill container with her drugs for the week.
"Oh thanks, I hadn't gotten around to that yet."
"I always do it for you Mum, you don't ever do it."
At that she let out a loud sigh, "I'm not infirm I know that I do it."
I looked at her and realised what I was doing, I was acting just like her and my aunt had with their mum. They always corrected her, and of course as she had dementia, this was basically all they did the whole visit. They told her constantly that she'd sold the house, that her husband was dead, etc. When I visited I always made up bullshit. I let her talk and agreed with whatever she said. When she said Eddie (grandad) was picking her up later, I asked what time. When she asked who I was married to now, I made up a fantastic story for her. And every single time, she forgot and would ask again. Didn't hurt her, and as she would laugh at my stories she had fun.
"Cathy, just wanted to say thanks for the lovely evening at your place. It was great to see everyone."
"Your welcome Mum, glad you enjoyed it. Now I'll be back tonight to bag up your hand for your shower."
"Oh thanks, are you sure you have the time? After having everyone at your place I'm sure you have a lot of cleaning to do."
"Yeh, it's fine Mum I know it's not something you can manage"
"I hope they got home okay?"
"Yeh, they sent me messages when they arrived home."
As I got in the car she was still thanking me, and you know what? even though it never happened, she was so happy. Who am I to tell her she's wrong?
Catch yas
Cathy
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Liar Liar
One of the joys of Alzheimers is the incredible dreams that the sufferer considers to be real life. They are so vivid that they are factual to them. Of course this means that their reality is completely skewed because their dreams are pure fiction. They are also pretty extravagant in their detail so they cannot be believed to be dreams.
Mum has dreamt about going to hospital, going shopping, making doctors appointments, me getting my hair cut short (that is a fantasy of hers and will never happen), being asked to drive someone somewhere (ummm we aren't letting you behind a wheel so yeh dreaming), buying something, people visiting or taking her out somewhere right down to saying that she did the washing all day and was out in the garden working, when it's actually been raining all day and she's been sewing. The individual dreams are truly works of art, while in hospital she had surgery on her back and was released that same day as she had to drive one of her grandkids to swimming lessons. Okay, fact she did have back surgery several years ago, she was in hospital and rehab for 3 weeks not overnight. Another fact, her grandkids all know how to swim, although many years ago when they were all young she did actually take them a few times for me. Now she could of been talking about the great grandkids, but nope she never takes them anywhere in her dreams as she has no car seat. Obviously my adult kids (her grandkids) don't need a car seat as they are adults. Now you and me would just laugh at this incredible dream, but to her, nope it's no dream. I had phoned her and asked her to take them, she will even be dressed and ready to go. After I explain that no this isn't happening, she will look at me then say "Are you sure?" "well yes mum I know my adult children can swim." Then she'll say, "Why did you ask me to take them then?" "Ummm I didn't. Why would I when I know they can swim." She will then get this look in her eye, the mother of old when I was telling her some bullshit about where I'd been and she knew it was a lie, but was choosing to believe me. But now it's just the same look with confusion and wonder as she tries to process why I would lie to her. That is how realistic it all is, she'd rather believe the dream than her daughter, who is an obvious liar.
Of course she wouldn't come out and say I was a liar, that would be rude, and it is possible that she's wrong although you can see her struggling to believe she could possibly be wrong LOL. If I mention something from the past that she cannot remember, I'm either lying or trying to trick her. Not sure why I would do either, but if I insist I'm not lying she'll get all shitty with me, so I just say okay. I know it happened I know it's real, but if it's too hard for her to remember then there is no harm in letting her think she's right. And hey she forgets about the whole convo in 5 seconds anyway so no biggie LOL.
Her back surgery dream was really detailed, down to the doctor who did her original surgery to the hospital she had it in. She will give you details about the op, and yet at the time she was really in hospital, she would ask me when they were going to do it, despite her already having the surgery. She told her sister who called her that for some reason she'd been left in her hospital bed in a field. Now that obviously didn't happen, but was very realistic to her. Later when we discussed it, she couldn't imagine why she would tell her sister something like that and laughed it off as the anesthetic. It probably was just that, and for anyone who has experienced the same thing after surgery or the surgery of a loved one, that is just what the Alzheimers dreams are like. Totally real to the sufferer, flights of fantasy in the real world. The difference now is that Mum totally believes these dreams, it's hard to convince her that they aren't real, but she does forget them. Of course like any person she sleeps every night, so she'll have fresh dreams, but again she does forget them.
At the moment we can be thankful that she isn't taking off in the middle of the night like my grandfather (her father) used to. My grandmother would be awoken at some ridiculously early hour of the morning, by either a taxi driver or the police bringing him home. She had the foresight to have his name address and phone number on a wrist band for him, which given his propensity for nightly wanders came in handy LOL. Or there's the time he convinced the bank manager that there was a strange woman living in his house trying to steal his money, so the bank arranged for him to be the only one able to make withdrawals, something that caused never ending embarrassment for my grandmother and hilarity for us. We really are a bunch of sickos lol.
When Nana was in the nursing home and had dementia, I delighted in spinning her tales. She would totally believe me but as the story got more and more fantastic she would stop me and say, "Cathy are you making that up?" and I'd burst out laughing. We would both have a good laugh over it, and it became our thing, of course she'd forget constantly that we were doing it, so it was even more fun for her, kind of like the surprise of the joke just never ended, and I have to admit to getting a kick out of it myself. Mum and I have a good laugh too, it's not all doom and gloom. She's even started using the line "I have Alzheimers." almost like a weapon, so I'll come back with something like "You can't use that excuse for the rest of your life." She'll fire back with "What excuse?" and we will crack up. There will come a day when she forgets that she has Alzheimers, I live in hope that a cure will come before then, and I know the advances with treatment via ultrasound have been amazing. Just wish it would hurry up and be available to all, not just the test subjects.
Catch yas
Cathy
Mum has dreamt about going to hospital, going shopping, making doctors appointments, me getting my hair cut short (that is a fantasy of hers and will never happen), being asked to drive someone somewhere (ummm we aren't letting you behind a wheel so yeh dreaming), buying something, people visiting or taking her out somewhere right down to saying that she did the washing all day and was out in the garden working, when it's actually been raining all day and she's been sewing. The individual dreams are truly works of art, while in hospital she had surgery on her back and was released that same day as she had to drive one of her grandkids to swimming lessons. Okay, fact she did have back surgery several years ago, she was in hospital and rehab for 3 weeks not overnight. Another fact, her grandkids all know how to swim, although many years ago when they were all young she did actually take them a few times for me. Now she could of been talking about the great grandkids, but nope she never takes them anywhere in her dreams as she has no car seat. Obviously my adult kids (her grandkids) don't need a car seat as they are adults. Now you and me would just laugh at this incredible dream, but to her, nope it's no dream. I had phoned her and asked her to take them, she will even be dressed and ready to go. After I explain that no this isn't happening, she will look at me then say "Are you sure?" "well yes mum I know my adult children can swim." Then she'll say, "Why did you ask me to take them then?" "Ummm I didn't. Why would I when I know they can swim." She will then get this look in her eye, the mother of old when I was telling her some bullshit about where I'd been and she knew it was a lie, but was choosing to believe me. But now it's just the same look with confusion and wonder as she tries to process why I would lie to her. That is how realistic it all is, she'd rather believe the dream than her daughter, who is an obvious liar.
Of course she wouldn't come out and say I was a liar, that would be rude, and it is possible that she's wrong although you can see her struggling to believe she could possibly be wrong LOL. If I mention something from the past that she cannot remember, I'm either lying or trying to trick her. Not sure why I would do either, but if I insist I'm not lying she'll get all shitty with me, so I just say okay. I know it happened I know it's real, but if it's too hard for her to remember then there is no harm in letting her think she's right. And hey she forgets about the whole convo in 5 seconds anyway so no biggie LOL.
Her back surgery dream was really detailed, down to the doctor who did her original surgery to the hospital she had it in. She will give you details about the op, and yet at the time she was really in hospital, she would ask me when they were going to do it, despite her already having the surgery. She told her sister who called her that for some reason she'd been left in her hospital bed in a field. Now that obviously didn't happen, but was very realistic to her. Later when we discussed it, she couldn't imagine why she would tell her sister something like that and laughed it off as the anesthetic. It probably was just that, and for anyone who has experienced the same thing after surgery or the surgery of a loved one, that is just what the Alzheimers dreams are like. Totally real to the sufferer, flights of fantasy in the real world. The difference now is that Mum totally believes these dreams, it's hard to convince her that they aren't real, but she does forget them. Of course like any person she sleeps every night, so she'll have fresh dreams, but again she does forget them.
At the moment we can be thankful that she isn't taking off in the middle of the night like my grandfather (her father) used to. My grandmother would be awoken at some ridiculously early hour of the morning, by either a taxi driver or the police bringing him home. She had the foresight to have his name address and phone number on a wrist band for him, which given his propensity for nightly wanders came in handy LOL. Or there's the time he convinced the bank manager that there was a strange woman living in his house trying to steal his money, so the bank arranged for him to be the only one able to make withdrawals, something that caused never ending embarrassment for my grandmother and hilarity for us. We really are a bunch of sickos lol.
When Nana was in the nursing home and had dementia, I delighted in spinning her tales. She would totally believe me but as the story got more and more fantastic she would stop me and say, "Cathy are you making that up?" and I'd burst out laughing. We would both have a good laugh over it, and it became our thing, of course she'd forget constantly that we were doing it, so it was even more fun for her, kind of like the surprise of the joke just never ended, and I have to admit to getting a kick out of it myself. Mum and I have a good laugh too, it's not all doom and gloom. She's even started using the line "I have Alzheimers." almost like a weapon, so I'll come back with something like "You can't use that excuse for the rest of your life." She'll fire back with "What excuse?" and we will crack up. There will come a day when she forgets that she has Alzheimers, I live in hope that a cure will come before then, and I know the advances with treatment via ultrasound have been amazing. Just wish it would hurry up and be available to all, not just the test subjects.
Catch yas
Cathy
Monday, November 23, 2015
Life in the Twilight Zone (Hospital Edition Part 2)
Had to work early shift today, so I organised to take an hour for lunch, so I could grab Mums new tablets then go check on her. My brother was working so she was home alone. I'd had a feeling last night just from the way she'd been looking at the cast, that she would take it off.
So I get to her place start loading her pill box with the antibiotics, with no sign of her. I knew she was home cause the door was wide open so figured she must of been in her room, or the bathroom. She finally makes her way out to where I am "Oh this is a nice surprise Cathy, what are you doing here?" "I told you I'd come round today to see how..... Mum what the hell!!! Where's your cast?" "My what?" "Your cast the reason we've been at hospital all damn weekend." "That was days ago. It got wet so I took it off."
OMFG seriously folks, OMFG.
"How did it get wet? Did you have a shower, despite me saying not to until I came round." "Of course I had a shower, I shower every day, and I put a bag on it." Pretty sure there was no bag involved, can't imagine her being able to put a plastic bag over her left hand and tape it, and suspiciously her hand was scrubbed clean, couldn't of happened with a bag on it.
"I can't believe you took it off." "It was annoying and there was blood on it." "I thought you said it got wet?" "Yes it did." "Blood or water Mum?" I glanced around and noticed the cast just sitting there, picking it up I could clearly see there was no blood. I could seriously not believe this, and I can usually laugh off the Alzheimers but geez this was too much. "I don't know what your worried about Cathy, it's just a little cut." Grabbing her hand I asked her what the stitches were from. "I don't know, but I presume they sewed up the cut." "No Mum, they didn't sew up the cut you made, they cut you open to stitch your tendon together. You had surgery." "I'm sure I'd remember that."
I grabbed the phone and called our doctor, explained what had happened and got an emergency appointment. I have to be honest here, I admit to being almost totally defeated. All that time spent at the hospital, all those hours, all those instructions, all gone, totally wasted. I told her I'd call her when it was time to go to the doctors, and I booked it. As soon as I sat in the car, the tears started flowing, they didn't stop. They are still coming and going even as I type. For once in a really really long time I had no wisecracks, no smart arse remarks, nothing but tears.
When I went to pick her up, she had shopping bags out, and her hospital bag. I asked her where she thought we were going. "Well I packed a hospital bag because I'm getting an operation, but if they cancel I thought we could go shopping, I've run out of a few things." "Mum your not going to hospital, we are not going shopping, you've run out of nothing" the whole way down to the doctors she repeated how she'd wet the cast but as it was nearly healed it was fine. "You had it done yesterday Mum, the cast was supposed to stay on for 6 weeks. You have totally wasted the surgery they did." "It's okay they can do it again." Luckily there was no immediate cars or pedestrians in the area, I had an airbag her side of the car doesn't.
Our doctor agreed, looks like she has totally ruined the surgery, and he wants me to make an appointment with the hospital. Sure not a problem, I can take another day off work without pay, easy fucking peasy. Sorry but the stress has totally built up on me, and I'm exhausted and taking it out on the fucking world. But I reckon it's better getting it down here and out of my system instead of shouting at Mum, or committing matricide LOL.
So folks there you have it. It took the authority of our doctor, and me telling her a million fucking times, to leave the bandage on before she said she finally got it. Oh and I was just interrupted with a phone call from my brother who lives with Mum, "Cathy is Mum supposed to be taking her medication?" "Of course." "She said the doctor told her not to." "Well no he didn't, even when she was fasting in hospital they had her take her meds." Sigh. Well I've done all I can, I've got notes stuck up in every room of the house, saying 'Do Not Remove the Bandage' my brother knows she has to leave it on, so he can make sure she doesn't touch it while force feeding her her meds that help keep her ticking LOL. But then of course there's tomorrow, he'll be at work again and so will I. Not sure I want to go round tomorrow sigh.
Catch yas
Cathy
So I get to her place start loading her pill box with the antibiotics, with no sign of her. I knew she was home cause the door was wide open so figured she must of been in her room, or the bathroom. She finally makes her way out to where I am "Oh this is a nice surprise Cathy, what are you doing here?" "I told you I'd come round today to see how..... Mum what the hell!!! Where's your cast?" "My what?" "Your cast the reason we've been at hospital all damn weekend." "That was days ago. It got wet so I took it off."
OMFG seriously folks, OMFG.
"How did it get wet? Did you have a shower, despite me saying not to until I came round." "Of course I had a shower, I shower every day, and I put a bag on it." Pretty sure there was no bag involved, can't imagine her being able to put a plastic bag over her left hand and tape it, and suspiciously her hand was scrubbed clean, couldn't of happened with a bag on it.
"I can't believe you took it off." "It was annoying and there was blood on it." "I thought you said it got wet?" "Yes it did." "Blood or water Mum?" I glanced around and noticed the cast just sitting there, picking it up I could clearly see there was no blood. I could seriously not believe this, and I can usually laugh off the Alzheimers but geez this was too much. "I don't know what your worried about Cathy, it's just a little cut." Grabbing her hand I asked her what the stitches were from. "I don't know, but I presume they sewed up the cut." "No Mum, they didn't sew up the cut you made, they cut you open to stitch your tendon together. You had surgery." "I'm sure I'd remember that."
I grabbed the phone and called our doctor, explained what had happened and got an emergency appointment. I have to be honest here, I admit to being almost totally defeated. All that time spent at the hospital, all those hours, all those instructions, all gone, totally wasted. I told her I'd call her when it was time to go to the doctors, and I booked it. As soon as I sat in the car, the tears started flowing, they didn't stop. They are still coming and going even as I type. For once in a really really long time I had no wisecracks, no smart arse remarks, nothing but tears.
When I went to pick her up, she had shopping bags out, and her hospital bag. I asked her where she thought we were going. "Well I packed a hospital bag because I'm getting an operation, but if they cancel I thought we could go shopping, I've run out of a few things." "Mum your not going to hospital, we are not going shopping, you've run out of nothing" the whole way down to the doctors she repeated how she'd wet the cast but as it was nearly healed it was fine. "You had it done yesterday Mum, the cast was supposed to stay on for 6 weeks. You have totally wasted the surgery they did." "It's okay they can do it again." Luckily there was no immediate cars or pedestrians in the area, I had an airbag her side of the car doesn't.
Our doctor agreed, looks like she has totally ruined the surgery, and he wants me to make an appointment with the hospital. Sure not a problem, I can take another day off work without pay, easy fucking peasy. Sorry but the stress has totally built up on me, and I'm exhausted and taking it out on the fucking world. But I reckon it's better getting it down here and out of my system instead of shouting at Mum, or committing matricide LOL.
So folks there you have it. It took the authority of our doctor, and me telling her a million fucking times, to leave the bandage on before she said she finally got it. Oh and I was just interrupted with a phone call from my brother who lives with Mum, "Cathy is Mum supposed to be taking her medication?" "Of course." "She said the doctor told her not to." "Well no he didn't, even when she was fasting in hospital they had her take her meds." Sigh. Well I've done all I can, I've got notes stuck up in every room of the house, saying 'Do Not Remove the Bandage' my brother knows she has to leave it on, so he can make sure she doesn't touch it while force feeding her her meds that help keep her ticking LOL. But then of course there's tomorrow, he'll be at work again and so will I. Not sure I want to go round tomorrow sigh.
Catch yas
Cathy
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Life in the Twilight Zone (Hospital Edition)
Began the weekend with the normal routine of shopping with Mum on Saturday morning. I noticed she had a couple of bandaids on her finger, and she told me that she had cut her finger. She mentioned that she wanted the pharmacist to see if she would need to see a doctor I said, "How big is the cut?" she replied "I hit the bone but there's no pain" I was thinking ummm okay, whacked yourself with a knife and there's no pain? So I offered my unsolicited opinion, "You need to see a doctor"
Totally ignoring what I said she went off finishing her shopping, with me reiterating several times we should go to the medical centre, in between emptying her trolley of all the stuff she didn't need. She should seriously thank me for all the money I'm sure I save her each week, but I digress. As we are pushing our trolleys back to the car she says, "I think I should go see Sam" (Sam is Dr Labib her doctor for years and years), "It's Saturday, he's not open." "
I will go and speak to the pharmacist then" So despite me telling her to go to the medical centre, it took a complete stranger to convince her she needed to see a doctor.
Her description of cutting it with a knife, was very true, but she didn't mention the fact that while she couldn't feel any pain at all, the whole finger was bent at the first knuckle and couldn't be straightened. So off to the medical centre, unable to get in straight away and we have to go back later. Doctor took one look, referred to hospital recommended surgery.
So off we trek back home to get a bag packed for her. Then off on our adventure. While we are waiting in the Emergency room (which was practically empty), she talked and talked, I zoned. Someone came in, sat down and then got called up, she loudly proclaims, "They came in after us" "Shhhh Mum, they always take kids first they get priority" next up is an old lady who looks like she's dying "She's younger than me why is she going in first?" "Probably because if they don't take her she'd die out here, and that couldn't be good for business Mum." "Well we were here first." This continued in the same vein for about 20 mins when she got called in, I thought that was great, only waiting 20 mins. She told the nurse that we'd been waiting for hours, and she was about ready to give up. I laughed so they'd think she wasn't serious, and made a point of mentioning very quickly she had Alzheimers (I'm thinking this is going to come in handy).
They checked her out and decided that yes she'd need surgery and we'd just wait for a bed to open. I settled in for a long wait, I've been down this road before. "Why do I keep sliding off this bed?" "It's basically plastic your sitting on Mum, why don't you sit sideways instead of half lying down." "I'm in hospital, I'm supposed to lie down" was her retort.
Nurse came to check on her vitals, and ask all the normal questions, like do you have diabetes etc. Mum proudly proclaimed no to all, and stated she came from a line of women who lived long lives. She went on to tell the nurse that her mother had lived till she was 101, and that she herself was 83. I'm zoning away as I tend to but, hang on what? "Mum, your not 83, your 79." "Rubbish do the math" "2015 minus 1936, your 79. Remember Mum I'm good at math." I have to say that my response totally stumped her LOL. I also reminded her that Dad had turned 80 last birthday and she was younger than him.
In the meantime the nurse is cracking up at us arguing over her age. I said to her "Mum you can only use Alzheimers as an excuse for so long" that had us all laughing. After sitting in a waiting room, listening to Mum whinge about not being able to change the channel on the TV that was showing golf blah, she finally got a bed. Once we got up to the ward we were told her surgery would not be done that night but they'd do it Sunday. I went home after seeing her settled, and collapsed in my bed LOL.
Sunday dawns bright and early and off I go back down. I was regaled with stories about how she couldn't sleep all night because of the lights shining in her eyes and the price of the TV was ridiculous. While I had her griping in one ear, the other was being blasted by the junkie on the other side, talking on the phone to someone "Fucking ell mate, get your fucking arse down here. Yeh she's a fucking bitch, she's my daughter mate but I tell ya she's a fucking bitch." Lucky for us she got visitors, who also spoke the same colourful language just as loudly as she did. I seriously felt like getting up and kissing the nurse when she came and told said junkie she could leave.
Once the room had quieted down, I grabbed the remote for the TV and turned it on. "How did you do that?" "Pushed the button that says TV" "But I told them I wouldn't pay for it." "Mum your not paying, you get it free cause your using your health fund, just like I get free parking." "Oh, turn it off I don't want to watch it."
For 5 hrs I listened to "I'm thirsty, get me some water." "Nope your fasting." "Water does nothing, I'm allowed water." "Nope your not." Yet again she didn't believe me, so I had to get a nurse to tell her she couldn't have anything. I'm not sure if she looks at me and sees the 5 yr old she used to be able to push around LOL, or not, I'm thinking I wouldn't want that 5 yr old driving me around. 5 hrs after I arrived, 1 million complaints about not being able to have water, a gazillion mentions of how hungry she was, and she finally got taken to surgery. Took a while so I took the chance to grab something to eat, and drink and relax. Started napping in her chair when they finally bought her back, and she was fine. The nurses said if she checked out fine I could take her home tonight so I decided to come home and eat, and just get away from the place.
When I got back down there, she goes "Oh hi, thanks for coming to visit." "Mum I've been here all day." "Yes I know, but thanks for visiting." She does that alot, when you correct her, she'll say yes I know. For fun, I'll ask her why she said blah blah if she knew, just for a laugh. Her responses vary from, just checking to see if you knew to I just wanted to make sure I remembered right LOL. To be honest, it's because she didn't know. Suddenly she throws back the covers on her bed, "Mum, where are you going?" :"I'm going to get dressed, I need to go home." "Sorry Mum have to wait till your discharged." "Well just take this ridiculous tape off my finger so I can." "You've also got a drip in your arm." "Oh, well I'll just wait till the nurses say I can go then." She was looking around the ward at the floor, no idea why, a nurse came in and she goes "Are all the floors here lino or tile or is there some with carpet?" The nurse looks at me, I smack myself in the head. "Mum, it's a hospital, imagine trying to get blood and gunk out of carpet, there is no carpet." "Well it would be nicer if there was." The guy came around with the coffee and tea cart, she proceeded to order a long black capuccino, "She'll have a black coffee thanks" I said to the bemused attendant LOL. "But I want a capuccino." "Sorry Mum, I'd like a bullet in my head right about now, but we don't always get what we want." LOL.
On the drive home, she told me how she'd been in for so long she'd forgotten what home looked like, oh this was after she tried to get into a strangers car, that looked nothing like ours LOL. "Mum you only went into hospital last night." and yes folks you guessed her response, "I know." lol. Driving along she asked me why I didn't take the short cut, "What shortcut, I'm driving the highway, Old Bathurst is just up there, you can see the lights." "If you turned left back there it would of been faster." it wouldn't of, in fact it probably would of added 20 mins to the trip. We turned right on the green arrow, and she says "This is a bit risky when there's no light." " Wouldn't of turned if there wasn't a green light mum, I'm not going back to the hospital, they'd probably make us share a room."
But after a horrendous stressful weekend, all is well, she's back home, I'm hoping she's tucked up in bed, and I'll visit her tomorrow during lunch break and after work.
As for me, I need to get some sleep too, but after all this, I want to get drunk and party LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Totally ignoring what I said she went off finishing her shopping, with me reiterating several times we should go to the medical centre, in between emptying her trolley of all the stuff she didn't need. She should seriously thank me for all the money I'm sure I save her each week, but I digress. As we are pushing our trolleys back to the car she says, "I think I should go see Sam" (Sam is Dr Labib her doctor for years and years), "It's Saturday, he's not open." "
I will go and speak to the pharmacist then" So despite me telling her to go to the medical centre, it took a complete stranger to convince her she needed to see a doctor.
Her description of cutting it with a knife, was very true, but she didn't mention the fact that while she couldn't feel any pain at all, the whole finger was bent at the first knuckle and couldn't be straightened. So off to the medical centre, unable to get in straight away and we have to go back later. Doctor took one look, referred to hospital recommended surgery.
So off we trek back home to get a bag packed for her. Then off on our adventure. While we are waiting in the Emergency room (which was practically empty), she talked and talked, I zoned. Someone came in, sat down and then got called up, she loudly proclaims, "They came in after us" "Shhhh Mum, they always take kids first they get priority" next up is an old lady who looks like she's dying "She's younger than me why is she going in first?" "Probably because if they don't take her she'd die out here, and that couldn't be good for business Mum." "Well we were here first." This continued in the same vein for about 20 mins when she got called in, I thought that was great, only waiting 20 mins. She told the nurse that we'd been waiting for hours, and she was about ready to give up. I laughed so they'd think she wasn't serious, and made a point of mentioning very quickly she had Alzheimers (I'm thinking this is going to come in handy).
They checked her out and decided that yes she'd need surgery and we'd just wait for a bed to open. I settled in for a long wait, I've been down this road before. "Why do I keep sliding off this bed?" "It's basically plastic your sitting on Mum, why don't you sit sideways instead of half lying down." "I'm in hospital, I'm supposed to lie down" was her retort.
Nurse came to check on her vitals, and ask all the normal questions, like do you have diabetes etc. Mum proudly proclaimed no to all, and stated she came from a line of women who lived long lives. She went on to tell the nurse that her mother had lived till she was 101, and that she herself was 83. I'm zoning away as I tend to but, hang on what? "Mum, your not 83, your 79." "Rubbish do the math" "2015 minus 1936, your 79. Remember Mum I'm good at math." I have to say that my response totally stumped her LOL. I also reminded her that Dad had turned 80 last birthday and she was younger than him.
In the meantime the nurse is cracking up at us arguing over her age. I said to her "Mum you can only use Alzheimers as an excuse for so long" that had us all laughing. After sitting in a waiting room, listening to Mum whinge about not being able to change the channel on the TV that was showing golf blah, she finally got a bed. Once we got up to the ward we were told her surgery would not be done that night but they'd do it Sunday. I went home after seeing her settled, and collapsed in my bed LOL.
Sunday dawns bright and early and off I go back down. I was regaled with stories about how she couldn't sleep all night because of the lights shining in her eyes and the price of the TV was ridiculous. While I had her griping in one ear, the other was being blasted by the junkie on the other side, talking on the phone to someone "Fucking ell mate, get your fucking arse down here. Yeh she's a fucking bitch, she's my daughter mate but I tell ya she's a fucking bitch." Lucky for us she got visitors, who also spoke the same colourful language just as loudly as she did. I seriously felt like getting up and kissing the nurse when she came and told said junkie she could leave.
Once the room had quieted down, I grabbed the remote for the TV and turned it on. "How did you do that?" "Pushed the button that says TV" "But I told them I wouldn't pay for it." "Mum your not paying, you get it free cause your using your health fund, just like I get free parking." "Oh, turn it off I don't want to watch it."
For 5 hrs I listened to "I'm thirsty, get me some water." "Nope your fasting." "Water does nothing, I'm allowed water." "Nope your not." Yet again she didn't believe me, so I had to get a nurse to tell her she couldn't have anything. I'm not sure if she looks at me and sees the 5 yr old she used to be able to push around LOL, or not, I'm thinking I wouldn't want that 5 yr old driving me around. 5 hrs after I arrived, 1 million complaints about not being able to have water, a gazillion mentions of how hungry she was, and she finally got taken to surgery. Took a while so I took the chance to grab something to eat, and drink and relax. Started napping in her chair when they finally bought her back, and she was fine. The nurses said if she checked out fine I could take her home tonight so I decided to come home and eat, and just get away from the place.
When I got back down there, she goes "Oh hi, thanks for coming to visit." "Mum I've been here all day." "Yes I know, but thanks for visiting." She does that alot, when you correct her, she'll say yes I know. For fun, I'll ask her why she said blah blah if she knew, just for a laugh. Her responses vary from, just checking to see if you knew to I just wanted to make sure I remembered right LOL. To be honest, it's because she didn't know. Suddenly she throws back the covers on her bed, "Mum, where are you going?" :"I'm going to get dressed, I need to go home." "Sorry Mum have to wait till your discharged." "Well just take this ridiculous tape off my finger so I can." "You've also got a drip in your arm." "Oh, well I'll just wait till the nurses say I can go then." She was looking around the ward at the floor, no idea why, a nurse came in and she goes "Are all the floors here lino or tile or is there some with carpet?" The nurse looks at me, I smack myself in the head. "Mum, it's a hospital, imagine trying to get blood and gunk out of carpet, there is no carpet." "Well it would be nicer if there was." The guy came around with the coffee and tea cart, she proceeded to order a long black capuccino, "She'll have a black coffee thanks" I said to the bemused attendant LOL. "But I want a capuccino." "Sorry Mum, I'd like a bullet in my head right about now, but we don't always get what we want." LOL.
On the drive home, she told me how she'd been in for so long she'd forgotten what home looked like, oh this was after she tried to get into a strangers car, that looked nothing like ours LOL. "Mum you only went into hospital last night." and yes folks you guessed her response, "I know." lol. Driving along she asked me why I didn't take the short cut, "What shortcut, I'm driving the highway, Old Bathurst is just up there, you can see the lights." "If you turned left back there it would of been faster." it wouldn't of, in fact it probably would of added 20 mins to the trip. We turned right on the green arrow, and she says "This is a bit risky when there's no light." " Wouldn't of turned if there wasn't a green light mum, I'm not going back to the hospital, they'd probably make us share a room."
But after a horrendous stressful weekend, all is well, she's back home, I'm hoping she's tucked up in bed, and I'll visit her tomorrow during lunch break and after work.
As for me, I need to get some sleep too, but after all this, I want to get drunk and party LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Life in the Twilight Zone
Earlier this year my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She's 79 and always been active and out and about, that has now all changed. My grandfather had Alzheimers as well, so most of her behaviours are expected, but I'm now experiencing it first hand, just like my grandmother did.
As with most things in life, there are stages. At the moment, apart from short term memory loss she isn't too bad, and as always I am totally using her loss of memory to my advantage and enjoying myself LOL. Now don't go thinking I'm an evil daughter, or the devil incarnate, okay maybe that is true but I do love my mum, and this is my way of coping. Much like I coped with the loss of my husband, despite being totally devastating, I had to look at the situation in a light hearted manner for the sake of those around me. We now deal with his loss with memories and love, and with a very healthy dose of humour. We aren't making fun of his death or laughing at him for dying, this is how we deal with our loss. If it's not something that others can understand, then that's their problem.
So I deal with mum the same, if I didn't I'd be insane. Sure it's frustrating to go around to her house to fill up her tablets for the week (a job that my brother who lives with her could do and has done without a problem, but for some reason she is convinced he's doing it wrong), only to find that she has tried to do it herself, and totally gotten it all wrong. Or forgotten to put in the one pill that is actually for her Alzheimers (not a cure it's to stop her getting worse quickly), or the time we discovered she'd actually been taking about 4 of them a day LOL. These are things that she has mostly done routinely for years, but now she is on different tablets, cannot remember what she has to take or already taken. It's frustrating to get the phone calls asking the same question over and over again, it's frustrating to repeat yourself constantly, and it's hard suddenly being the responsible adult.
When I start to get frustrated, I remember, this is my mother, the same person that I'm pretty sure I've frustrated a time or two. The same person that answered my phone calls at all hours, and the same person who used to be the responsible adult. So I suck it up, and get back to the funny side of it all. And mum also has a good laugh about herself, which is so very important.
We go shopping once a week, when I have a day off work during the week, I arrange her appointments for those days and if it proves impossible (as it did after a hospital stay and illness on my part) there is a community bus she can catch which my brother ensures she is on LOL. Every time she used to go shopping alone she would stop for either morning tea or lunch, this is not something I do. I'm in and out, over and done within the hour LOL. But since I'm taking mum then I've adjusted, kind of LOL. We now stop for her to get her coffee and cake, while I suck down an iced coffee. She always wants me to get something to eat, and all I want is to be done and back home LOL. We get her paper then it's coffee time, we sit, she says "Don't let me forget to get the paper." I reply "Do you mean this paper, mum? The one we bought before we came in." her reply "Oh I didn't realise we'd gotten it already." and she laughs. After reading the front page, she looks at me and we repeat the whole conversation again. She eats half her cake, and oh look she's mentioning the paper again, mind you the whole time it's been sitting on the table in front of her. As we leave the coffee shop she starts to head to the newsagents to get the paper. I have to wave it in front of her face to show her we have it. We both crack up laughing.
As we past the chemist she asks if I've dropped off her scripts, "No mum, you don't need any this week." and off we go. We grab our trolleys and she says "You dropped off my scripts didn't you?" I sigh and reply "Sure did mum" :LOL. For years mum has been able to remember everything she needs without referring to a shopping list. She has routinely bought veg and meat and everything else she needs without a problem. Not anymore. My brother works on the list food wise, and I go through the laundry and bathroom to add to it. As we walk around I have to remind mum to get out her list or check her list. I race around grab my stuff, then am back to her still stuck in the first aisle. As she moves around I check her trolley and if there's something I know she doesn't need I sneak it out. I have been caught a few times, and I just pretend to be reading the label to see if it's something I want LOL. Doesn't really work well when it's something she knows you hate, so I try to cover by saying Dale might like it LOL. We work our way around like this every single week, me taking 5 mins and her taking 30, me sneaking stuff out of her trolley and her trying to sneak stuff in LOL.
After Aldi, we head over to Woolworths for fruit and veg, again I make sure she has her list then streak off to grab my stuff. Oh 10 mins usually for me in Woolies, cause the aisles are bigger and there's more people to dodge LOL. The other week I got back to mum and she had loaded up with so much stuff I knew she didn't need, but she had an iron grip and eagle eye on her trolley and I didn't want to just start throwing stuff back on the shelves. Suddenly she needed to go to the toilet, and I saw my chance, "Go mum I'll stay here with the trolleys" hehehehe, my evil self was balanced on my shoulder whispering in my ear. Off she goes, and the returns begin. You have to make sure that when your returning stuff, the trolley still looks just as full as it did before she left. It's pretty exhausting work balancing it all out LOL. When she returned she had no idea and didn't say anything was missing at the checkout, that's the joy of the short term memory loss LOL. Now again, don't get me wrong, she gets everything she needs, and definite treats (she loves her chocky), but if left unsupervised she will spend way to much money and buy way to much food that will not get eaten.
Every single week she insists on stopping at Bakers Delight to buy some bread (not something she needs that often, but I indulge her). She asks for special bread that confuses them all as they have never stocked it LOL. She'll stand there and say "I remember getting it here and I'm sure I got it a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure my daughter will agree" she turns to get me to agree, but I've already run off not wanting to get involved LOL. Once we are loaded in the car with all our groceries she might suddenly remember the scripts and paper, if I give her a certain look she's learning that it means that she's already asked and already handled LOL.
Part of Alzheimers is the realistic dreams. She called me the other night to ask when she was going into the hospital for her tests. I said what tests and she said "The tests I need before I go into a nursing home" "Mum your not going into a nursing home yet, there is no tests. Who said you had to get tests?" "Last time we saw Sam he said I needed to be tested in the hospital." "No he didn't, I was there." "Oh must of been the other doctor" "What other doctor?" "The one I saw on Friday. You must remember you took me." "Ummm no, you went for a bone density test." "I'm sure it's true, didn't you find out about it when you went for your tests at the hospital? Or was it Tara?" "Nope, neither of us have done that Mum." "Well I'm going to call them tomorrow" "Okay mum. Bye" She never called, cause she forgot about it LOL. But when she was tested for her Alzheimers, she was telling the guy who did the test about having to go to the hospital for some operation, I said no it wasn't true. He was telling us that she was probably dreaming it, and of course she denied it, but apparently it is quite common. It also explains the phone calls saying she needs the car cause she needs to take Caryn and her kids to swimming lessons, this is the same daughter of mine,Caryn, who lives 6-7 hrs away LOL.But this is excactly what happens, oh and please don't think for a minute I'm letting her drive LOL.
One minute she is telling you she thinks the tablets are working because she is getting better, the next she is telling you some story about some surgery she is going to have that is totally not happening LOL. For some reason she is really obsessed with hospitals, if she isn't going in for tests, she's going for surgery. I turned up there one morning to discover she had packed an overnight bag, I asked why and she said "I just want to be prepared, you said there was a chance I might have to stay overnight." I asked her where she was staying, and she told me the hospital. I looked at her and said, "Mum, I'm here to take you shopping." LOL.
So this is my life at the moment, it's draining as all hell and I feel as if I have a 79 yr old child LOL, but she is my mum, she gave me life and I love her, simple as that. Plus the fun I have in telling her stuff she forgets is awesome LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
As with most things in life, there are stages. At the moment, apart from short term memory loss she isn't too bad, and as always I am totally using her loss of memory to my advantage and enjoying myself LOL. Now don't go thinking I'm an evil daughter, or the devil incarnate, okay maybe that is true but I do love my mum, and this is my way of coping. Much like I coped with the loss of my husband, despite being totally devastating, I had to look at the situation in a light hearted manner for the sake of those around me. We now deal with his loss with memories and love, and with a very healthy dose of humour. We aren't making fun of his death or laughing at him for dying, this is how we deal with our loss. If it's not something that others can understand, then that's their problem.
So I deal with mum the same, if I didn't I'd be insane. Sure it's frustrating to go around to her house to fill up her tablets for the week (a job that my brother who lives with her could do and has done without a problem, but for some reason she is convinced he's doing it wrong), only to find that she has tried to do it herself, and totally gotten it all wrong. Or forgotten to put in the one pill that is actually for her Alzheimers (not a cure it's to stop her getting worse quickly), or the time we discovered she'd actually been taking about 4 of them a day LOL. These are things that she has mostly done routinely for years, but now she is on different tablets, cannot remember what she has to take or already taken. It's frustrating to get the phone calls asking the same question over and over again, it's frustrating to repeat yourself constantly, and it's hard suddenly being the responsible adult.
When I start to get frustrated, I remember, this is my mother, the same person that I'm pretty sure I've frustrated a time or two. The same person that answered my phone calls at all hours, and the same person who used to be the responsible adult. So I suck it up, and get back to the funny side of it all. And mum also has a good laugh about herself, which is so very important.
We go shopping once a week, when I have a day off work during the week, I arrange her appointments for those days and if it proves impossible (as it did after a hospital stay and illness on my part) there is a community bus she can catch which my brother ensures she is on LOL. Every time she used to go shopping alone she would stop for either morning tea or lunch, this is not something I do. I'm in and out, over and done within the hour LOL. But since I'm taking mum then I've adjusted, kind of LOL. We now stop for her to get her coffee and cake, while I suck down an iced coffee. She always wants me to get something to eat, and all I want is to be done and back home LOL. We get her paper then it's coffee time, we sit, she says "Don't let me forget to get the paper." I reply "Do you mean this paper, mum? The one we bought before we came in." her reply "Oh I didn't realise we'd gotten it already." and she laughs. After reading the front page, she looks at me and we repeat the whole conversation again. She eats half her cake, and oh look she's mentioning the paper again, mind you the whole time it's been sitting on the table in front of her. As we leave the coffee shop she starts to head to the newsagents to get the paper. I have to wave it in front of her face to show her we have it. We both crack up laughing.
As we past the chemist she asks if I've dropped off her scripts, "No mum, you don't need any this week." and off we go. We grab our trolleys and she says "You dropped off my scripts didn't you?" I sigh and reply "Sure did mum" :LOL. For years mum has been able to remember everything she needs without referring to a shopping list. She has routinely bought veg and meat and everything else she needs without a problem. Not anymore. My brother works on the list food wise, and I go through the laundry and bathroom to add to it. As we walk around I have to remind mum to get out her list or check her list. I race around grab my stuff, then am back to her still stuck in the first aisle. As she moves around I check her trolley and if there's something I know she doesn't need I sneak it out. I have been caught a few times, and I just pretend to be reading the label to see if it's something I want LOL. Doesn't really work well when it's something she knows you hate, so I try to cover by saying Dale might like it LOL. We work our way around like this every single week, me taking 5 mins and her taking 30, me sneaking stuff out of her trolley and her trying to sneak stuff in LOL.
After Aldi, we head over to Woolworths for fruit and veg, again I make sure she has her list then streak off to grab my stuff. Oh 10 mins usually for me in Woolies, cause the aisles are bigger and there's more people to dodge LOL. The other week I got back to mum and she had loaded up with so much stuff I knew she didn't need, but she had an iron grip and eagle eye on her trolley and I didn't want to just start throwing stuff back on the shelves. Suddenly she needed to go to the toilet, and I saw my chance, "Go mum I'll stay here with the trolleys" hehehehe, my evil self was balanced on my shoulder whispering in my ear. Off she goes, and the returns begin. You have to make sure that when your returning stuff, the trolley still looks just as full as it did before she left. It's pretty exhausting work balancing it all out LOL. When she returned she had no idea and didn't say anything was missing at the checkout, that's the joy of the short term memory loss LOL. Now again, don't get me wrong, she gets everything she needs, and definite treats (she loves her chocky), but if left unsupervised she will spend way to much money and buy way to much food that will not get eaten.
Every single week she insists on stopping at Bakers Delight to buy some bread (not something she needs that often, but I indulge her). She asks for special bread that confuses them all as they have never stocked it LOL. She'll stand there and say "I remember getting it here and I'm sure I got it a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure my daughter will agree" she turns to get me to agree, but I've already run off not wanting to get involved LOL. Once we are loaded in the car with all our groceries she might suddenly remember the scripts and paper, if I give her a certain look she's learning that it means that she's already asked and already handled LOL.
Part of Alzheimers is the realistic dreams. She called me the other night to ask when she was going into the hospital for her tests. I said what tests and she said "The tests I need before I go into a nursing home" "Mum your not going into a nursing home yet, there is no tests. Who said you had to get tests?" "Last time we saw Sam he said I needed to be tested in the hospital." "No he didn't, I was there." "Oh must of been the other doctor" "What other doctor?" "The one I saw on Friday. You must remember you took me." "Ummm no, you went for a bone density test." "I'm sure it's true, didn't you find out about it when you went for your tests at the hospital? Or was it Tara?" "Nope, neither of us have done that Mum." "Well I'm going to call them tomorrow" "Okay mum. Bye" She never called, cause she forgot about it LOL. But when she was tested for her Alzheimers, she was telling the guy who did the test about having to go to the hospital for some operation, I said no it wasn't true. He was telling us that she was probably dreaming it, and of course she denied it, but apparently it is quite common. It also explains the phone calls saying she needs the car cause she needs to take Caryn and her kids to swimming lessons, this is the same daughter of mine,Caryn, who lives 6-7 hrs away LOL.But this is excactly what happens, oh and please don't think for a minute I'm letting her drive LOL.
One minute she is telling you she thinks the tablets are working because she is getting better, the next she is telling you some story about some surgery she is going to have that is totally not happening LOL. For some reason she is really obsessed with hospitals, if she isn't going in for tests, she's going for surgery. I turned up there one morning to discover she had packed an overnight bag, I asked why and she said "I just want to be prepared, you said there was a chance I might have to stay overnight." I asked her where she was staying, and she told me the hospital. I looked at her and said, "Mum, I'm here to take you shopping." LOL.
So this is my life at the moment, it's draining as all hell and I feel as if I have a 79 yr old child LOL, but she is my mum, she gave me life and I love her, simple as that. Plus the fun I have in telling her stuff she forgets is awesome LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Saturday, June 27, 2015
It's a Rainbow Celebration
I'm sure everyone has heard by now, and if not get online, grab a paper, turn on the radio or watch the news, this has been a huge day for equality and fairness. Even if it was just in the USA it feels like a world wide celebration. Finally, regardless of your gender, you can now marry a person of the same gender in the USA as per the Supreme Court ruling. To be honest, I don't see why it was up the Supreme Court to make the ruling, but that could be because I see this as every humans right and it should never of come to this.
Man or woman you have the right, as a consenting adult (with a partner also a consenting adult) to choose who you wish to spend the rest of your life with. No government or religion should be able to tell you that you can't or that you will be damned if you do. It is an unassailable right for us all to choose who we wish to marry. And lets face it, we aren't going to go into the marriage blindly, regardless of heterosexuality or not. This is not a step we take lightly and it is not a step our gay friends will take lightly. They are not all going to rush out and get hitched just because they can. The ones getting married now have been waiting for this moment for years, everyone else will do just what us heteros do, wait for the one they wish to spend the rest of their lives with and then get married if they choose. That's the thing though isn't it, 'if they choose'. They will finally have that choice, the same choice I've had my whole life, the same choice, you've had your whole life. How would you feel if that choice was taken from you? If suddenly the government started telling you you couldn't marry the man/woman of your choice, because it was wrong? You would feel like absolute shit! You would march and wave flags, burn effigies in the street, start petitions, educate your neighbours and friends, and you would demand your right as a human to marry the person you have chosen as a legal consenting adult.
That is all that gay people have wanted for years, and now in the USA they have been given that right, while in Australia we have an idiot Prime Minister who doesn't personally like gay people and thinks that woman should stay home and tend to the hard working man while raising children alone. Oh sure, he says he has nothing against gays, but when it comes to marriage equality, nope he doesn't believe in it. This is not something that he should have the power to stop. We need to stand up for our fellow Aussies rights to marry the person of their choice. I've done the whole changed my profile pic on Facebook thing, and even on my blog here I've changed the background to the closest thing I could find to a rainbow lol, and I will stand up for the rights of my friends and fellow Aussies to marry the one they love.
This is not something that should be fought about in church or parliament, this is a right for us all in this a democratic nation. And as such should not even be given any discussion time, it should just be done.
I've seen all the love pouring out on Facebook today, but I've also seen the hate posts. I have of course blocked all of those as I always do, it's my right to decline to see them, just as it is your right to post them. And that's the big thing, it is our right, that's the one thing that all the haters can't seem to get their heads around. It is a right, it's a choice, and it's not your right to dictate to me who I can marry. You can suggest I don't marry someone, you can turn your back on me, you can disown me, but you don't have the right to stop me.
I don't believe that this will cause God to turn his back on America, like some have said, cause if all the crap that's gone on over there in the name of God hasn't already done it, then nothing will. So lets just all let everyone live their lives with the person they love, which is really what it's all about. Heteros are not the only people in the world who fall in love, and that's really what it's about, choosing who we love, there is no gay marriage or hetero marriage there is just marriage.
Catch yas
Cathy
Man or woman you have the right, as a consenting adult (with a partner also a consenting adult) to choose who you wish to spend the rest of your life with. No government or religion should be able to tell you that you can't or that you will be damned if you do. It is an unassailable right for us all to choose who we wish to marry. And lets face it, we aren't going to go into the marriage blindly, regardless of heterosexuality or not. This is not a step we take lightly and it is not a step our gay friends will take lightly. They are not all going to rush out and get hitched just because they can. The ones getting married now have been waiting for this moment for years, everyone else will do just what us heteros do, wait for the one they wish to spend the rest of their lives with and then get married if they choose. That's the thing though isn't it, 'if they choose'. They will finally have that choice, the same choice I've had my whole life, the same choice, you've had your whole life. How would you feel if that choice was taken from you? If suddenly the government started telling you you couldn't marry the man/woman of your choice, because it was wrong? You would feel like absolute shit! You would march and wave flags, burn effigies in the street, start petitions, educate your neighbours and friends, and you would demand your right as a human to marry the person you have chosen as a legal consenting adult.
That is all that gay people have wanted for years, and now in the USA they have been given that right, while in Australia we have an idiot Prime Minister who doesn't personally like gay people and thinks that woman should stay home and tend to the hard working man while raising children alone. Oh sure, he says he has nothing against gays, but when it comes to marriage equality, nope he doesn't believe in it. This is not something that he should have the power to stop. We need to stand up for our fellow Aussies rights to marry the person of their choice. I've done the whole changed my profile pic on Facebook thing, and even on my blog here I've changed the background to the closest thing I could find to a rainbow lol, and I will stand up for the rights of my friends and fellow Aussies to marry the one they love.
This is not something that should be fought about in church or parliament, this is a right for us all in this a democratic nation. And as such should not even be given any discussion time, it should just be done.
I've seen all the love pouring out on Facebook today, but I've also seen the hate posts. I have of course blocked all of those as I always do, it's my right to decline to see them, just as it is your right to post them. And that's the big thing, it is our right, that's the one thing that all the haters can't seem to get their heads around. It is a right, it's a choice, and it's not your right to dictate to me who I can marry. You can suggest I don't marry someone, you can turn your back on me, you can disown me, but you don't have the right to stop me.
I don't believe that this will cause God to turn his back on America, like some have said, cause if all the crap that's gone on over there in the name of God hasn't already done it, then nothing will. So lets just all let everyone live their lives with the person they love, which is really what it's all about. Heteros are not the only people in the world who fall in love, and that's really what it's about, choosing who we love, there is no gay marriage or hetero marriage there is just marriage.
Catch yas
Cathy
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Maybe it's just me.....
but I'm thinking there might be a lot of people out there especially here in Australia that don't get why our American friends get so het up about the one particular line in the their Pledge of Allegiance.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
The line I'm referring to is the 'one Nation under God' bit. From research I know that it was not added in till after the original pledge was written, just like the bit about the flag of the United States of America (added because an Australia, for example, could recite the pledge but be talking about their country flag not the US one which is apparently terrible LOL). But more than any other part of the pledge these 4 words seem to stir the blood of normal people and turn them into raving lunatics. Although really it's only 2 words 'under God' that were added. I'm just going with the 4 words cause that's the line quoted continuously.
I've seen so many posts online about how this person is refusing to say it, or that this school has banned it because they don't want to upset others. And then there is all the blah blah about well if you come and live in our country you have to say it, and you have no right to tell us we can't say it, etc. Now, I get that. I'm the same, you don't have the right to stop me from saying what I want, but it goes both ways, I don't have the right to stop you saying it whenever you like either. So, that's something everyone seems to understand, right? But no wait, they don't, or at least a hell of a lot of people don't.
'Get back to your own country!'
'We are Christians'
'It's our right under the Constitution'
Are just some of the cries you can read on any post about someone refusing to say it. Then there's the constant trend towards some school saying that you can no longer say the pledge as it will offend some students and parents, well you know what grow some fucking balls and tell these students and parents that if they don't like it they or their child can be excused. Simple, and fucking logical in my eyes.
I'm an Aussie, born and bred, my generation grew up singing God Save the Queen, but you know what, it didn't mean jack to me or to anyone else I know, we just did it cause it was expected of us. We didn't march around protesting being forced to sing something that meant jack to us. Admittedly we didn't have Facebook to launch a protest and that may have made all the difference, not lol. A lot of us are descended from convicts, sent here because of the laws in that same damn country where the Queen lives, and yet we still sung it.
The way I see it, and maybe my view is skewed, I have no idea, but the way I see it is quite simple. If you don't want to say the Pledge, you shouldn't have to, if you want to leave out the bit about 'under God' do so, if you want to say it go for it, but both of you the one saying and the one not, have to stand side by side and respect each others views. You can't march into a school and demand it be removed from the daily ritual (I'm not sure when it's said at school, but from movies it looks like usually first class of the day), in doing so you are taking away the right of all students who want to say it and who believe in it. Telling someone your going to sue their arse if your child is forced to say it isn't the way to go either. Approach the school, work out a compromise, your child is allowed to sit quietly while the rest of the class recites the pledge, or wait in the hall. It's not going to kill them, it's not going to cut into their study time, it's a short fucking pledge and it apparently means a hell of a lot to a lot more people than you. Then the school and the students who are allowed to make their pledge, have to also promise, not to discriminate against your child/children in any way shape or form for being excused. If the anybody harasses your child then that child or teacher, is out, suspended. Any student who disrupts the saying of the pledge is out, suspended, done and fucking dusted. Simple solution and should be across the board in all states and all schools. The fact that the 'under God' was added later after the 'of the United States of America' bit, just makes this the Pledge of Allegiance mark 3 LOL. I could definitely say the Pledge without a hitch except for the 'under God' bit, that feels like I'm being forced to believe in God, so I'd skip that bit. I wouldn't demand it be removed and nor would I tell you you can't say it, as long as you let me do it my way.
So there's my opinion for what it's worth, may not be worth jackshit, but hey it's all mine and no one can stop me from voicing it lol. I am not a hater of the Pledge of Allegiance, it means nothing to me, not my country, and I have no right to say to someone shut the fuck up I don't want to hear it, but if you want to stand next to me and say your Pledge, you go right ahead.
There is also the something else I saw on Facebook the other day about a student being told he couldn't drive around with this big arsed flag flying out of the back of his truck because it could be offensive. Ummm offensive to who exactly? He's driving around in America, with the American flag waving, is he going to offend the Aussie who lives down the road? I think not, at least not if the Aussie is allowed to drive his truck around with a big arse Australian flag flying. Again that may be skewed because I am an Aussie, but I would like to feel that if I was from say Iran, living in the US, I'd respect any Americans right to have their flag flying and expect them to do the same. The one thing I thought of when I saw the size of the flag was, ummm sure he says it's not impeding his visibility but I bet it damn well is, that's one big flag flapping there LOL.
Well that's it for me, I hope none of my American friends take offense at this humble Aussies opinions, no matter how skewed they are, after all it's my right to state them even if my country doesn't live under your constitution LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
The line I'm referring to is the 'one Nation under God' bit. From research I know that it was not added in till after the original pledge was written, just like the bit about the flag of the United States of America (added because an Australia, for example, could recite the pledge but be talking about their country flag not the US one which is apparently terrible LOL). But more than any other part of the pledge these 4 words seem to stir the blood of normal people and turn them into raving lunatics. Although really it's only 2 words 'under God' that were added. I'm just going with the 4 words cause that's the line quoted continuously.
I've seen so many posts online about how this person is refusing to say it, or that this school has banned it because they don't want to upset others. And then there is all the blah blah about well if you come and live in our country you have to say it, and you have no right to tell us we can't say it, etc. Now, I get that. I'm the same, you don't have the right to stop me from saying what I want, but it goes both ways, I don't have the right to stop you saying it whenever you like either. So, that's something everyone seems to understand, right? But no wait, they don't, or at least a hell of a lot of people don't.
'Get back to your own country!'
'We are Christians'
'It's our right under the Constitution'
Are just some of the cries you can read on any post about someone refusing to say it. Then there's the constant trend towards some school saying that you can no longer say the pledge as it will offend some students and parents, well you know what grow some fucking balls and tell these students and parents that if they don't like it they or their child can be excused. Simple, and fucking logical in my eyes.
I'm an Aussie, born and bred, my generation grew up singing God Save the Queen, but you know what, it didn't mean jack to me or to anyone else I know, we just did it cause it was expected of us. We didn't march around protesting being forced to sing something that meant jack to us. Admittedly we didn't have Facebook to launch a protest and that may have made all the difference, not lol. A lot of us are descended from convicts, sent here because of the laws in that same damn country where the Queen lives, and yet we still sung it.
The way I see it, and maybe my view is skewed, I have no idea, but the way I see it is quite simple. If you don't want to say the Pledge, you shouldn't have to, if you want to leave out the bit about 'under God' do so, if you want to say it go for it, but both of you the one saying and the one not, have to stand side by side and respect each others views. You can't march into a school and demand it be removed from the daily ritual (I'm not sure when it's said at school, but from movies it looks like usually first class of the day), in doing so you are taking away the right of all students who want to say it and who believe in it. Telling someone your going to sue their arse if your child is forced to say it isn't the way to go either. Approach the school, work out a compromise, your child is allowed to sit quietly while the rest of the class recites the pledge, or wait in the hall. It's not going to kill them, it's not going to cut into their study time, it's a short fucking pledge and it apparently means a hell of a lot to a lot more people than you. Then the school and the students who are allowed to make their pledge, have to also promise, not to discriminate against your child/children in any way shape or form for being excused. If the anybody harasses your child then that child or teacher, is out, suspended. Any student who disrupts the saying of the pledge is out, suspended, done and fucking dusted. Simple solution and should be across the board in all states and all schools. The fact that the 'under God' was added later after the 'of the United States of America' bit, just makes this the Pledge of Allegiance mark 3 LOL. I could definitely say the Pledge without a hitch except for the 'under God' bit, that feels like I'm being forced to believe in God, so I'd skip that bit. I wouldn't demand it be removed and nor would I tell you you can't say it, as long as you let me do it my way.
So there's my opinion for what it's worth, may not be worth jackshit, but hey it's all mine and no one can stop me from voicing it lol. I am not a hater of the Pledge of Allegiance, it means nothing to me, not my country, and I have no right to say to someone shut the fuck up I don't want to hear it, but if you want to stand next to me and say your Pledge, you go right ahead.
There is also the something else I saw on Facebook the other day about a student being told he couldn't drive around with this big arsed flag flying out of the back of his truck because it could be offensive. Ummm offensive to who exactly? He's driving around in America, with the American flag waving, is he going to offend the Aussie who lives down the road? I think not, at least not if the Aussie is allowed to drive his truck around with a big arse Australian flag flying. Again that may be skewed because I am an Aussie, but I would like to feel that if I was from say Iran, living in the US, I'd respect any Americans right to have their flag flying and expect them to do the same. The one thing I thought of when I saw the size of the flag was, ummm sure he says it's not impeding his visibility but I bet it damn well is, that's one big flag flapping there LOL.
Well that's it for me, I hope none of my American friends take offense at this humble Aussies opinions, no matter how skewed they are, after all it's my right to state them even if my country doesn't live under your constitution LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Just around the corner is......
Mothers Day. Yep, that time of year again, when mothers all over are inundated with gifts that are always welcome and much appreciated. But along with the gifts come the lead up of catalogues, every single freaking day, catalogues.
I was just browsing through some that I received today and noticed, as I have before, the trend in the gifts the stores are pushing you to buy. There's the pjs, slippers and dressing gowns, cause we all know Mum does nothing but sit around all day drinking tea/coffee in her pjs, while Dad is out at work, and the kids are at school. How about a new vacuum cleaner, or something every mum wants a new iron? Of course we all know that Mum is the only one who knows how to use either one of these and what better way to tell her how much we appreciate her by giving her something that will make all her hard work around the house (while in her pjs) something to make her job easier, or rather emphasise the fact that's all she's good for. How about some makeup? Just to cover up your face mum, make you look beautiful, cause lets face it you need it. Some chocolate, sure we'll give it to you but we'll also end up eating it all, cause we know you'll share cause your the Mum. Some exercise equipment? Yeh, sorry mum, your butt is getting bigger, and is that a pot belly? Must be cause all you do all day is sit around in your pjs and eat chocolate.
A new cookbook? Sorry but you really are cooking absolute shit at the moment, so someone had to let you know. A romantic DVD? We know you prefer action but it's Mothers Day that's all they have in the stores, I swear. Some nice new towels, and look they have washing instructions for you. Look at these beautiful shiny garden tools I got you. Okay you might actually have to get out of those pjs to use them, but come on Mum you can do it.
How about some craft stuff? Nothing better than getting all crafty while in pjs, getting glue stuck in your hair and glitter all over the floor. See should of gotten you a vacuum so you could get that glitter all cleaned up. Sorry about the hair, yeh I know you've had to cut chunks out, but hey Mum it's the thought that counts, and you must be bored all day while we are at school. Ummmm Mum, your new mascara is running, sorry couldn't afford to get the waterproof one for you, but I only get $20 allowance, and that stuff costs. The reject shop is a perfectly good place to pick up gifts.
Why is it that the Fathers Day catalogues are so much cooler? They get the ride on lawn mowers, and sure that's still for working, but how cool to have one to zoom around mowing the lawn. And the action movies, the biographies, all exciting stuff. No woosy cleanser or chocolate for Dad, he gets the fun stuff, a beer hat, a personalised beer mug, a voucher to go paint balling, or one for sky diving. Please note, I do not want to go sky diving LOL.
Instead of the pjs etc, how about some nice photo frames to fill with family pictures, or a gorgeous bunch of flowers. Sure the flowers don't last, but the feeling of love stays forever.
Catch yas
Cathy
I was just browsing through some that I received today and noticed, as I have before, the trend in the gifts the stores are pushing you to buy. There's the pjs, slippers and dressing gowns, cause we all know Mum does nothing but sit around all day drinking tea/coffee in her pjs, while Dad is out at work, and the kids are at school. How about a new vacuum cleaner, or something every mum wants a new iron? Of course we all know that Mum is the only one who knows how to use either one of these and what better way to tell her how much we appreciate her by giving her something that will make all her hard work around the house (while in her pjs) something to make her job easier, or rather emphasise the fact that's all she's good for. How about some makeup? Just to cover up your face mum, make you look beautiful, cause lets face it you need it. Some chocolate, sure we'll give it to you but we'll also end up eating it all, cause we know you'll share cause your the Mum. Some exercise equipment? Yeh, sorry mum, your butt is getting bigger, and is that a pot belly? Must be cause all you do all day is sit around in your pjs and eat chocolate.
A new cookbook? Sorry but you really are cooking absolute shit at the moment, so someone had to let you know. A romantic DVD? We know you prefer action but it's Mothers Day that's all they have in the stores, I swear. Some nice new towels, and look they have washing instructions for you. Look at these beautiful shiny garden tools I got you. Okay you might actually have to get out of those pjs to use them, but come on Mum you can do it.
How about some craft stuff? Nothing better than getting all crafty while in pjs, getting glue stuck in your hair and glitter all over the floor. See should of gotten you a vacuum so you could get that glitter all cleaned up. Sorry about the hair, yeh I know you've had to cut chunks out, but hey Mum it's the thought that counts, and you must be bored all day while we are at school. Ummmm Mum, your new mascara is running, sorry couldn't afford to get the waterproof one for you, but I only get $20 allowance, and that stuff costs. The reject shop is a perfectly good place to pick up gifts.
Why is it that the Fathers Day catalogues are so much cooler? They get the ride on lawn mowers, and sure that's still for working, but how cool to have one to zoom around mowing the lawn. And the action movies, the biographies, all exciting stuff. No woosy cleanser or chocolate for Dad, he gets the fun stuff, a beer hat, a personalised beer mug, a voucher to go paint balling, or one for sky diving. Please note, I do not want to go sky diving LOL.
Instead of the pjs etc, how about some nice photo frames to fill with family pictures, or a gorgeous bunch of flowers. Sure the flowers don't last, but the feeling of love stays forever.
Catch yas
Cathy
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