Had to work early shift today, so I organised to take an hour for lunch, so I could grab Mums new tablets then go check on her. My brother was working so she was home alone. I'd had a feeling last night just from the way she'd been looking at the cast, that she would take it off.
So I get to her place start loading her pill box with the antibiotics, with no sign of her. I knew she was home cause the door was wide open so figured she must of been in her room, or the bathroom. She finally makes her way out to where I am "Oh this is a nice surprise Cathy, what are you doing here?" "I told you I'd come round today to see how..... Mum what the hell!!! Where's your cast?" "My what?" "Your cast the reason we've been at hospital all damn weekend." "That was days ago. It got wet so I took it off."
OMFG seriously folks, OMFG.
"How did it get wet? Did you have a shower, despite me saying not to until I came round." "Of course I had a shower, I shower every day, and I put a bag on it." Pretty sure there was no bag involved, can't imagine her being able to put a plastic bag over her left hand and tape it, and suspiciously her hand was scrubbed clean, couldn't of happened with a bag on it.
"I can't believe you took it off." "It was annoying and there was blood on it." "I thought you said it got wet?" "Yes it did." "Blood or water Mum?" I glanced around and noticed the cast just sitting there, picking it up I could clearly see there was no blood. I could seriously not believe this, and I can usually laugh off the Alzheimers but geez this was too much. "I don't know what your worried about Cathy, it's just a little cut." Grabbing her hand I asked her what the stitches were from. "I don't know, but I presume they sewed up the cut." "No Mum, they didn't sew up the cut you made, they cut you open to stitch your tendon together. You had surgery." "I'm sure I'd remember that."
I grabbed the phone and called our doctor, explained what had happened and got an emergency appointment. I have to be honest here, I admit to being almost totally defeated. All that time spent at the hospital, all those hours, all those instructions, all gone, totally wasted. I told her I'd call her when it was time to go to the doctors, and I booked it. As soon as I sat in the car, the tears started flowing, they didn't stop. They are still coming and going even as I type. For once in a really really long time I had no wisecracks, no smart arse remarks, nothing but tears.
When I went to pick her up, she had shopping bags out, and her hospital bag. I asked her where she thought we were going. "Well I packed a hospital bag because I'm getting an operation, but if they cancel I thought we could go shopping, I've run out of a few things." "Mum your not going to hospital, we are not going shopping, you've run out of nothing" the whole way down to the doctors she repeated how she'd wet the cast but as it was nearly healed it was fine. "You had it done yesterday Mum, the cast was supposed to stay on for 6 weeks. You have totally wasted the surgery they did." "It's okay they can do it again." Luckily there was no immediate cars or pedestrians in the area, I had an airbag her side of the car doesn't.
Our doctor agreed, looks like she has totally ruined the surgery, and he wants me to make an appointment with the hospital. Sure not a problem, I can take another day off work without pay, easy fucking peasy. Sorry but the stress has totally built up on me, and I'm exhausted and taking it out on the fucking world. But I reckon it's better getting it down here and out of my system instead of shouting at Mum, or committing matricide LOL.
So folks there you have it. It took the authority of our doctor, and me telling her a million fucking times, to leave the bandage on before she said she finally got it. Oh and I was just interrupted with a phone call from my brother who lives with Mum, "Cathy is Mum supposed to be taking her medication?" "Of course." "She said the doctor told her not to." "Well no he didn't, even when she was fasting in hospital they had her take her meds." Sigh. Well I've done all I can, I've got notes stuck up in every room of the house, saying 'Do Not Remove the Bandage' my brother knows she has to leave it on, so he can make sure she doesn't touch it while force feeding her her meds that help keep her ticking LOL. But then of course there's tomorrow, he'll be at work again and so will I. Not sure I want to go round tomorrow sigh.
Catch yas
Cathy
Monday, November 23, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Life in the Twilight Zone (Hospital Edition)
Began the weekend with the normal routine of shopping with Mum on Saturday morning. I noticed she had a couple of bandaids on her finger, and she told me that she had cut her finger. She mentioned that she wanted the pharmacist to see if she would need to see a doctor I said, "How big is the cut?" she replied "I hit the bone but there's no pain" I was thinking ummm okay, whacked yourself with a knife and there's no pain? So I offered my unsolicited opinion, "You need to see a doctor"
Totally ignoring what I said she went off finishing her shopping, with me reiterating several times we should go to the medical centre, in between emptying her trolley of all the stuff she didn't need. She should seriously thank me for all the money I'm sure I save her each week, but I digress. As we are pushing our trolleys back to the car she says, "I think I should go see Sam" (Sam is Dr Labib her doctor for years and years), "It's Saturday, he's not open." "
I will go and speak to the pharmacist then" So despite me telling her to go to the medical centre, it took a complete stranger to convince her she needed to see a doctor.
Her description of cutting it with a knife, was very true, but she didn't mention the fact that while she couldn't feel any pain at all, the whole finger was bent at the first knuckle and couldn't be straightened. So off to the medical centre, unable to get in straight away and we have to go back later. Doctor took one look, referred to hospital recommended surgery.
So off we trek back home to get a bag packed for her. Then off on our adventure. While we are waiting in the Emergency room (which was practically empty), she talked and talked, I zoned. Someone came in, sat down and then got called up, she loudly proclaims, "They came in after us" "Shhhh Mum, they always take kids first they get priority" next up is an old lady who looks like she's dying "She's younger than me why is she going in first?" "Probably because if they don't take her she'd die out here, and that couldn't be good for business Mum." "Well we were here first." This continued in the same vein for about 20 mins when she got called in, I thought that was great, only waiting 20 mins. She told the nurse that we'd been waiting for hours, and she was about ready to give up. I laughed so they'd think she wasn't serious, and made a point of mentioning very quickly she had Alzheimers (I'm thinking this is going to come in handy).
They checked her out and decided that yes she'd need surgery and we'd just wait for a bed to open. I settled in for a long wait, I've been down this road before. "Why do I keep sliding off this bed?" "It's basically plastic your sitting on Mum, why don't you sit sideways instead of half lying down." "I'm in hospital, I'm supposed to lie down" was her retort.
Nurse came to check on her vitals, and ask all the normal questions, like do you have diabetes etc. Mum proudly proclaimed no to all, and stated she came from a line of women who lived long lives. She went on to tell the nurse that her mother had lived till she was 101, and that she herself was 83. I'm zoning away as I tend to but, hang on what? "Mum, your not 83, your 79." "Rubbish do the math" "2015 minus 1936, your 79. Remember Mum I'm good at math." I have to say that my response totally stumped her LOL. I also reminded her that Dad had turned 80 last birthday and she was younger than him.
In the meantime the nurse is cracking up at us arguing over her age. I said to her "Mum you can only use Alzheimers as an excuse for so long" that had us all laughing. After sitting in a waiting room, listening to Mum whinge about not being able to change the channel on the TV that was showing golf blah, she finally got a bed. Once we got up to the ward we were told her surgery would not be done that night but they'd do it Sunday. I went home after seeing her settled, and collapsed in my bed LOL.
Sunday dawns bright and early and off I go back down. I was regaled with stories about how she couldn't sleep all night because of the lights shining in her eyes and the price of the TV was ridiculous. While I had her griping in one ear, the other was being blasted by the junkie on the other side, talking on the phone to someone "Fucking ell mate, get your fucking arse down here. Yeh she's a fucking bitch, she's my daughter mate but I tell ya she's a fucking bitch." Lucky for us she got visitors, who also spoke the same colourful language just as loudly as she did. I seriously felt like getting up and kissing the nurse when she came and told said junkie she could leave.
Once the room had quieted down, I grabbed the remote for the TV and turned it on. "How did you do that?" "Pushed the button that says TV" "But I told them I wouldn't pay for it." "Mum your not paying, you get it free cause your using your health fund, just like I get free parking." "Oh, turn it off I don't want to watch it."
For 5 hrs I listened to "I'm thirsty, get me some water." "Nope your fasting." "Water does nothing, I'm allowed water." "Nope your not." Yet again she didn't believe me, so I had to get a nurse to tell her she couldn't have anything. I'm not sure if she looks at me and sees the 5 yr old she used to be able to push around LOL, or not, I'm thinking I wouldn't want that 5 yr old driving me around. 5 hrs after I arrived, 1 million complaints about not being able to have water, a gazillion mentions of how hungry she was, and she finally got taken to surgery. Took a while so I took the chance to grab something to eat, and drink and relax. Started napping in her chair when they finally bought her back, and she was fine. The nurses said if she checked out fine I could take her home tonight so I decided to come home and eat, and just get away from the place.
When I got back down there, she goes "Oh hi, thanks for coming to visit." "Mum I've been here all day." "Yes I know, but thanks for visiting." She does that alot, when you correct her, she'll say yes I know. For fun, I'll ask her why she said blah blah if she knew, just for a laugh. Her responses vary from, just checking to see if you knew to I just wanted to make sure I remembered right LOL. To be honest, it's because she didn't know. Suddenly she throws back the covers on her bed, "Mum, where are you going?" :"I'm going to get dressed, I need to go home." "Sorry Mum have to wait till your discharged." "Well just take this ridiculous tape off my finger so I can." "You've also got a drip in your arm." "Oh, well I'll just wait till the nurses say I can go then." She was looking around the ward at the floor, no idea why, a nurse came in and she goes "Are all the floors here lino or tile or is there some with carpet?" The nurse looks at me, I smack myself in the head. "Mum, it's a hospital, imagine trying to get blood and gunk out of carpet, there is no carpet." "Well it would be nicer if there was." The guy came around with the coffee and tea cart, she proceeded to order a long black capuccino, "She'll have a black coffee thanks" I said to the bemused attendant LOL. "But I want a capuccino." "Sorry Mum, I'd like a bullet in my head right about now, but we don't always get what we want." LOL.
On the drive home, she told me how she'd been in for so long she'd forgotten what home looked like, oh this was after she tried to get into a strangers car, that looked nothing like ours LOL. "Mum you only went into hospital last night." and yes folks you guessed her response, "I know." lol. Driving along she asked me why I didn't take the short cut, "What shortcut, I'm driving the highway, Old Bathurst is just up there, you can see the lights." "If you turned left back there it would of been faster." it wouldn't of, in fact it probably would of added 20 mins to the trip. We turned right on the green arrow, and she says "This is a bit risky when there's no light." " Wouldn't of turned if there wasn't a green light mum, I'm not going back to the hospital, they'd probably make us share a room."
But after a horrendous stressful weekend, all is well, she's back home, I'm hoping she's tucked up in bed, and I'll visit her tomorrow during lunch break and after work.
As for me, I need to get some sleep too, but after all this, I want to get drunk and party LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Totally ignoring what I said she went off finishing her shopping, with me reiterating several times we should go to the medical centre, in between emptying her trolley of all the stuff she didn't need. She should seriously thank me for all the money I'm sure I save her each week, but I digress. As we are pushing our trolleys back to the car she says, "I think I should go see Sam" (Sam is Dr Labib her doctor for years and years), "It's Saturday, he's not open." "
I will go and speak to the pharmacist then" So despite me telling her to go to the medical centre, it took a complete stranger to convince her she needed to see a doctor.
Her description of cutting it with a knife, was very true, but she didn't mention the fact that while she couldn't feel any pain at all, the whole finger was bent at the first knuckle and couldn't be straightened. So off to the medical centre, unable to get in straight away and we have to go back later. Doctor took one look, referred to hospital recommended surgery.
So off we trek back home to get a bag packed for her. Then off on our adventure. While we are waiting in the Emergency room (which was practically empty), she talked and talked, I zoned. Someone came in, sat down and then got called up, she loudly proclaims, "They came in after us" "Shhhh Mum, they always take kids first they get priority" next up is an old lady who looks like she's dying "She's younger than me why is she going in first?" "Probably because if they don't take her she'd die out here, and that couldn't be good for business Mum." "Well we were here first." This continued in the same vein for about 20 mins when she got called in, I thought that was great, only waiting 20 mins. She told the nurse that we'd been waiting for hours, and she was about ready to give up. I laughed so they'd think she wasn't serious, and made a point of mentioning very quickly she had Alzheimers (I'm thinking this is going to come in handy).
They checked her out and decided that yes she'd need surgery and we'd just wait for a bed to open. I settled in for a long wait, I've been down this road before. "Why do I keep sliding off this bed?" "It's basically plastic your sitting on Mum, why don't you sit sideways instead of half lying down." "I'm in hospital, I'm supposed to lie down" was her retort.
Nurse came to check on her vitals, and ask all the normal questions, like do you have diabetes etc. Mum proudly proclaimed no to all, and stated she came from a line of women who lived long lives. She went on to tell the nurse that her mother had lived till she was 101, and that she herself was 83. I'm zoning away as I tend to but, hang on what? "Mum, your not 83, your 79." "Rubbish do the math" "2015 minus 1936, your 79. Remember Mum I'm good at math." I have to say that my response totally stumped her LOL. I also reminded her that Dad had turned 80 last birthday and she was younger than him.
In the meantime the nurse is cracking up at us arguing over her age. I said to her "Mum you can only use Alzheimers as an excuse for so long" that had us all laughing. After sitting in a waiting room, listening to Mum whinge about not being able to change the channel on the TV that was showing golf blah, she finally got a bed. Once we got up to the ward we were told her surgery would not be done that night but they'd do it Sunday. I went home after seeing her settled, and collapsed in my bed LOL.
Sunday dawns bright and early and off I go back down. I was regaled with stories about how she couldn't sleep all night because of the lights shining in her eyes and the price of the TV was ridiculous. While I had her griping in one ear, the other was being blasted by the junkie on the other side, talking on the phone to someone "Fucking ell mate, get your fucking arse down here. Yeh she's a fucking bitch, she's my daughter mate but I tell ya she's a fucking bitch." Lucky for us she got visitors, who also spoke the same colourful language just as loudly as she did. I seriously felt like getting up and kissing the nurse when she came and told said junkie she could leave.
Once the room had quieted down, I grabbed the remote for the TV and turned it on. "How did you do that?" "Pushed the button that says TV" "But I told them I wouldn't pay for it." "Mum your not paying, you get it free cause your using your health fund, just like I get free parking." "Oh, turn it off I don't want to watch it."
For 5 hrs I listened to "I'm thirsty, get me some water." "Nope your fasting." "Water does nothing, I'm allowed water." "Nope your not." Yet again she didn't believe me, so I had to get a nurse to tell her she couldn't have anything. I'm not sure if she looks at me and sees the 5 yr old she used to be able to push around LOL, or not, I'm thinking I wouldn't want that 5 yr old driving me around. 5 hrs after I arrived, 1 million complaints about not being able to have water, a gazillion mentions of how hungry she was, and she finally got taken to surgery. Took a while so I took the chance to grab something to eat, and drink and relax. Started napping in her chair when they finally bought her back, and she was fine. The nurses said if she checked out fine I could take her home tonight so I decided to come home and eat, and just get away from the place.
When I got back down there, she goes "Oh hi, thanks for coming to visit." "Mum I've been here all day." "Yes I know, but thanks for visiting." She does that alot, when you correct her, she'll say yes I know. For fun, I'll ask her why she said blah blah if she knew, just for a laugh. Her responses vary from, just checking to see if you knew to I just wanted to make sure I remembered right LOL. To be honest, it's because she didn't know. Suddenly she throws back the covers on her bed, "Mum, where are you going?" :"I'm going to get dressed, I need to go home." "Sorry Mum have to wait till your discharged." "Well just take this ridiculous tape off my finger so I can." "You've also got a drip in your arm." "Oh, well I'll just wait till the nurses say I can go then." She was looking around the ward at the floor, no idea why, a nurse came in and she goes "Are all the floors here lino or tile or is there some with carpet?" The nurse looks at me, I smack myself in the head. "Mum, it's a hospital, imagine trying to get blood and gunk out of carpet, there is no carpet." "Well it would be nicer if there was." The guy came around with the coffee and tea cart, she proceeded to order a long black capuccino, "She'll have a black coffee thanks" I said to the bemused attendant LOL. "But I want a capuccino." "Sorry Mum, I'd like a bullet in my head right about now, but we don't always get what we want." LOL.
On the drive home, she told me how she'd been in for so long she'd forgotten what home looked like, oh this was after she tried to get into a strangers car, that looked nothing like ours LOL. "Mum you only went into hospital last night." and yes folks you guessed her response, "I know." lol. Driving along she asked me why I didn't take the short cut, "What shortcut, I'm driving the highway, Old Bathurst is just up there, you can see the lights." "If you turned left back there it would of been faster." it wouldn't of, in fact it probably would of added 20 mins to the trip. We turned right on the green arrow, and she says "This is a bit risky when there's no light." " Wouldn't of turned if there wasn't a green light mum, I'm not going back to the hospital, they'd probably make us share a room."
But after a horrendous stressful weekend, all is well, she's back home, I'm hoping she's tucked up in bed, and I'll visit her tomorrow during lunch break and after work.
As for me, I need to get some sleep too, but after all this, I want to get drunk and party LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Life in the Twilight Zone
Earlier this year my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She's 79 and always been active and out and about, that has now all changed. My grandfather had Alzheimers as well, so most of her behaviours are expected, but I'm now experiencing it first hand, just like my grandmother did.
As with most things in life, there are stages. At the moment, apart from short term memory loss she isn't too bad, and as always I am totally using her loss of memory to my advantage and enjoying myself LOL. Now don't go thinking I'm an evil daughter, or the devil incarnate, okay maybe that is true but I do love my mum, and this is my way of coping. Much like I coped with the loss of my husband, despite being totally devastating, I had to look at the situation in a light hearted manner for the sake of those around me. We now deal with his loss with memories and love, and with a very healthy dose of humour. We aren't making fun of his death or laughing at him for dying, this is how we deal with our loss. If it's not something that others can understand, then that's their problem.
So I deal with mum the same, if I didn't I'd be insane. Sure it's frustrating to go around to her house to fill up her tablets for the week (a job that my brother who lives with her could do and has done without a problem, but for some reason she is convinced he's doing it wrong), only to find that she has tried to do it herself, and totally gotten it all wrong. Or forgotten to put in the one pill that is actually for her Alzheimers (not a cure it's to stop her getting worse quickly), or the time we discovered she'd actually been taking about 4 of them a day LOL. These are things that she has mostly done routinely for years, but now she is on different tablets, cannot remember what she has to take or already taken. It's frustrating to get the phone calls asking the same question over and over again, it's frustrating to repeat yourself constantly, and it's hard suddenly being the responsible adult.
When I start to get frustrated, I remember, this is my mother, the same person that I'm pretty sure I've frustrated a time or two. The same person that answered my phone calls at all hours, and the same person who used to be the responsible adult. So I suck it up, and get back to the funny side of it all. And mum also has a good laugh about herself, which is so very important.
We go shopping once a week, when I have a day off work during the week, I arrange her appointments for those days and if it proves impossible (as it did after a hospital stay and illness on my part) there is a community bus she can catch which my brother ensures she is on LOL. Every time she used to go shopping alone she would stop for either morning tea or lunch, this is not something I do. I'm in and out, over and done within the hour LOL. But since I'm taking mum then I've adjusted, kind of LOL. We now stop for her to get her coffee and cake, while I suck down an iced coffee. She always wants me to get something to eat, and all I want is to be done and back home LOL. We get her paper then it's coffee time, we sit, she says "Don't let me forget to get the paper." I reply "Do you mean this paper, mum? The one we bought before we came in." her reply "Oh I didn't realise we'd gotten it already." and she laughs. After reading the front page, she looks at me and we repeat the whole conversation again. She eats half her cake, and oh look she's mentioning the paper again, mind you the whole time it's been sitting on the table in front of her. As we leave the coffee shop she starts to head to the newsagents to get the paper. I have to wave it in front of her face to show her we have it. We both crack up laughing.
As we past the chemist she asks if I've dropped off her scripts, "No mum, you don't need any this week." and off we go. We grab our trolleys and she says "You dropped off my scripts didn't you?" I sigh and reply "Sure did mum" :LOL. For years mum has been able to remember everything she needs without referring to a shopping list. She has routinely bought veg and meat and everything else she needs without a problem. Not anymore. My brother works on the list food wise, and I go through the laundry and bathroom to add to it. As we walk around I have to remind mum to get out her list or check her list. I race around grab my stuff, then am back to her still stuck in the first aisle. As she moves around I check her trolley and if there's something I know she doesn't need I sneak it out. I have been caught a few times, and I just pretend to be reading the label to see if it's something I want LOL. Doesn't really work well when it's something she knows you hate, so I try to cover by saying Dale might like it LOL. We work our way around like this every single week, me taking 5 mins and her taking 30, me sneaking stuff out of her trolley and her trying to sneak stuff in LOL.
After Aldi, we head over to Woolworths for fruit and veg, again I make sure she has her list then streak off to grab my stuff. Oh 10 mins usually for me in Woolies, cause the aisles are bigger and there's more people to dodge LOL. The other week I got back to mum and she had loaded up with so much stuff I knew she didn't need, but she had an iron grip and eagle eye on her trolley and I didn't want to just start throwing stuff back on the shelves. Suddenly she needed to go to the toilet, and I saw my chance, "Go mum I'll stay here with the trolleys" hehehehe, my evil self was balanced on my shoulder whispering in my ear. Off she goes, and the returns begin. You have to make sure that when your returning stuff, the trolley still looks just as full as it did before she left. It's pretty exhausting work balancing it all out LOL. When she returned she had no idea and didn't say anything was missing at the checkout, that's the joy of the short term memory loss LOL. Now again, don't get me wrong, she gets everything she needs, and definite treats (she loves her chocky), but if left unsupervised she will spend way to much money and buy way to much food that will not get eaten.
Every single week she insists on stopping at Bakers Delight to buy some bread (not something she needs that often, but I indulge her). She asks for special bread that confuses them all as they have never stocked it LOL. She'll stand there and say "I remember getting it here and I'm sure I got it a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure my daughter will agree" she turns to get me to agree, but I've already run off not wanting to get involved LOL. Once we are loaded in the car with all our groceries she might suddenly remember the scripts and paper, if I give her a certain look she's learning that it means that she's already asked and already handled LOL.
Part of Alzheimers is the realistic dreams. She called me the other night to ask when she was going into the hospital for her tests. I said what tests and she said "The tests I need before I go into a nursing home" "Mum your not going into a nursing home yet, there is no tests. Who said you had to get tests?" "Last time we saw Sam he said I needed to be tested in the hospital." "No he didn't, I was there." "Oh must of been the other doctor" "What other doctor?" "The one I saw on Friday. You must remember you took me." "Ummm no, you went for a bone density test." "I'm sure it's true, didn't you find out about it when you went for your tests at the hospital? Or was it Tara?" "Nope, neither of us have done that Mum." "Well I'm going to call them tomorrow" "Okay mum. Bye" She never called, cause she forgot about it LOL. But when she was tested for her Alzheimers, she was telling the guy who did the test about having to go to the hospital for some operation, I said no it wasn't true. He was telling us that she was probably dreaming it, and of course she denied it, but apparently it is quite common. It also explains the phone calls saying she needs the car cause she needs to take Caryn and her kids to swimming lessons, this is the same daughter of mine,Caryn, who lives 6-7 hrs away LOL.But this is excactly what happens, oh and please don't think for a minute I'm letting her drive LOL.
One minute she is telling you she thinks the tablets are working because she is getting better, the next she is telling you some story about some surgery she is going to have that is totally not happening LOL. For some reason she is really obsessed with hospitals, if she isn't going in for tests, she's going for surgery. I turned up there one morning to discover she had packed an overnight bag, I asked why and she said "I just want to be prepared, you said there was a chance I might have to stay overnight." I asked her where she was staying, and she told me the hospital. I looked at her and said, "Mum, I'm here to take you shopping." LOL.
So this is my life at the moment, it's draining as all hell and I feel as if I have a 79 yr old child LOL, but she is my mum, she gave me life and I love her, simple as that. Plus the fun I have in telling her stuff she forgets is awesome LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
As with most things in life, there are stages. At the moment, apart from short term memory loss she isn't too bad, and as always I am totally using her loss of memory to my advantage and enjoying myself LOL. Now don't go thinking I'm an evil daughter, or the devil incarnate, okay maybe that is true but I do love my mum, and this is my way of coping. Much like I coped with the loss of my husband, despite being totally devastating, I had to look at the situation in a light hearted manner for the sake of those around me. We now deal with his loss with memories and love, and with a very healthy dose of humour. We aren't making fun of his death or laughing at him for dying, this is how we deal with our loss. If it's not something that others can understand, then that's their problem.
So I deal with mum the same, if I didn't I'd be insane. Sure it's frustrating to go around to her house to fill up her tablets for the week (a job that my brother who lives with her could do and has done without a problem, but for some reason she is convinced he's doing it wrong), only to find that she has tried to do it herself, and totally gotten it all wrong. Or forgotten to put in the one pill that is actually for her Alzheimers (not a cure it's to stop her getting worse quickly), or the time we discovered she'd actually been taking about 4 of them a day LOL. These are things that she has mostly done routinely for years, but now she is on different tablets, cannot remember what she has to take or already taken. It's frustrating to get the phone calls asking the same question over and over again, it's frustrating to repeat yourself constantly, and it's hard suddenly being the responsible adult.
When I start to get frustrated, I remember, this is my mother, the same person that I'm pretty sure I've frustrated a time or two. The same person that answered my phone calls at all hours, and the same person who used to be the responsible adult. So I suck it up, and get back to the funny side of it all. And mum also has a good laugh about herself, which is so very important.
We go shopping once a week, when I have a day off work during the week, I arrange her appointments for those days and if it proves impossible (as it did after a hospital stay and illness on my part) there is a community bus she can catch which my brother ensures she is on LOL. Every time she used to go shopping alone she would stop for either morning tea or lunch, this is not something I do. I'm in and out, over and done within the hour LOL. But since I'm taking mum then I've adjusted, kind of LOL. We now stop for her to get her coffee and cake, while I suck down an iced coffee. She always wants me to get something to eat, and all I want is to be done and back home LOL. We get her paper then it's coffee time, we sit, she says "Don't let me forget to get the paper." I reply "Do you mean this paper, mum? The one we bought before we came in." her reply "Oh I didn't realise we'd gotten it already." and she laughs. After reading the front page, she looks at me and we repeat the whole conversation again. She eats half her cake, and oh look she's mentioning the paper again, mind you the whole time it's been sitting on the table in front of her. As we leave the coffee shop she starts to head to the newsagents to get the paper. I have to wave it in front of her face to show her we have it. We both crack up laughing.
As we past the chemist she asks if I've dropped off her scripts, "No mum, you don't need any this week." and off we go. We grab our trolleys and she says "You dropped off my scripts didn't you?" I sigh and reply "Sure did mum" :LOL. For years mum has been able to remember everything she needs without referring to a shopping list. She has routinely bought veg and meat and everything else she needs without a problem. Not anymore. My brother works on the list food wise, and I go through the laundry and bathroom to add to it. As we walk around I have to remind mum to get out her list or check her list. I race around grab my stuff, then am back to her still stuck in the first aisle. As she moves around I check her trolley and if there's something I know she doesn't need I sneak it out. I have been caught a few times, and I just pretend to be reading the label to see if it's something I want LOL. Doesn't really work well when it's something she knows you hate, so I try to cover by saying Dale might like it LOL. We work our way around like this every single week, me taking 5 mins and her taking 30, me sneaking stuff out of her trolley and her trying to sneak stuff in LOL.
After Aldi, we head over to Woolworths for fruit and veg, again I make sure she has her list then streak off to grab my stuff. Oh 10 mins usually for me in Woolies, cause the aisles are bigger and there's more people to dodge LOL. The other week I got back to mum and she had loaded up with so much stuff I knew she didn't need, but she had an iron grip and eagle eye on her trolley and I didn't want to just start throwing stuff back on the shelves. Suddenly she needed to go to the toilet, and I saw my chance, "Go mum I'll stay here with the trolleys" hehehehe, my evil self was balanced on my shoulder whispering in my ear. Off she goes, and the returns begin. You have to make sure that when your returning stuff, the trolley still looks just as full as it did before she left. It's pretty exhausting work balancing it all out LOL. When she returned she had no idea and didn't say anything was missing at the checkout, that's the joy of the short term memory loss LOL. Now again, don't get me wrong, she gets everything she needs, and definite treats (she loves her chocky), but if left unsupervised she will spend way to much money and buy way to much food that will not get eaten.
Every single week she insists on stopping at Bakers Delight to buy some bread (not something she needs that often, but I indulge her). She asks for special bread that confuses them all as they have never stocked it LOL. She'll stand there and say "I remember getting it here and I'm sure I got it a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure my daughter will agree" she turns to get me to agree, but I've already run off not wanting to get involved LOL. Once we are loaded in the car with all our groceries she might suddenly remember the scripts and paper, if I give her a certain look she's learning that it means that she's already asked and already handled LOL.
Part of Alzheimers is the realistic dreams. She called me the other night to ask when she was going into the hospital for her tests. I said what tests and she said "The tests I need before I go into a nursing home" "Mum your not going into a nursing home yet, there is no tests. Who said you had to get tests?" "Last time we saw Sam he said I needed to be tested in the hospital." "No he didn't, I was there." "Oh must of been the other doctor" "What other doctor?" "The one I saw on Friday. You must remember you took me." "Ummm no, you went for a bone density test." "I'm sure it's true, didn't you find out about it when you went for your tests at the hospital? Or was it Tara?" "Nope, neither of us have done that Mum." "Well I'm going to call them tomorrow" "Okay mum. Bye" She never called, cause she forgot about it LOL. But when she was tested for her Alzheimers, she was telling the guy who did the test about having to go to the hospital for some operation, I said no it wasn't true. He was telling us that she was probably dreaming it, and of course she denied it, but apparently it is quite common. It also explains the phone calls saying she needs the car cause she needs to take Caryn and her kids to swimming lessons, this is the same daughter of mine,Caryn, who lives 6-7 hrs away LOL.But this is excactly what happens, oh and please don't think for a minute I'm letting her drive LOL.
One minute she is telling you she thinks the tablets are working because she is getting better, the next she is telling you some story about some surgery she is going to have that is totally not happening LOL. For some reason she is really obsessed with hospitals, if she isn't going in for tests, she's going for surgery. I turned up there one morning to discover she had packed an overnight bag, I asked why and she said "I just want to be prepared, you said there was a chance I might have to stay overnight." I asked her where she was staying, and she told me the hospital. I looked at her and said, "Mum, I'm here to take you shopping." LOL.
So this is my life at the moment, it's draining as all hell and I feel as if I have a 79 yr old child LOL, but she is my mum, she gave me life and I love her, simple as that. Plus the fun I have in telling her stuff she forgets is awesome LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
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