This one has been a long time coming. You all know from previous posts how proud I am of all my children, they are all different and walk different paths. They have their moments when you just want to strangle them, and I'm sure that goes both ways, but they are all my proudest achievement.
That said this blog is about one of those children, the middle child (no syndromes seem to have attached to her), and it doesn't mean that I think more of her than the others (I know they read this LOL). This is more to talk about how truly amazing she is along with her husband. There will be no names mentioned, but those of you who know us personally will know who they are.
My daughter had her first child at the age of 16 while still living at home and going to school. It wasn't easy on any of us,most of all her, but she managed to continue her schooling (yes I helped LOL) and finish off her Year 12 as she had always planned. It took her a bit longer but she still did it.
She is now 27 and along with her first child has had 2 more, and has gained a stepson by marriage. Pretty full on family with just those, but her and her husband have also fostered 2 siblings, and how they manage always amazes us. She had a 9 yr old and an almost 2 yr old when she had her 3rd, born in the shower at home hehehehe. Then when they learnt of a situation with a family member they stepped up and took in a little baby girl. They hesitated, they both knew she could have issues and that having 2 babies was not going to be easy, but they still did it. And now with those 2 little girls both 1 they have taken in another baby. He is a cutie.
They got the call they said yes, and that's just the sort of people they are. I know there are other wonderful foster parents out there, but this is about the ones I know personally and no one in our family doubts that if anyone can do it they can. It's not easy for them, support that was offered has since been withdrawn, but the kids (every one of them) is loved and well cared for. We all do what we can, but it's not easy when you work (like me) and have your own young family (her older sister) to deal with. But we do what we can, which is pretty much what its all about.
Not only are they foster parents, but we are a foster family, these kids are as much a part of our lives as the ones born into it, and they are loved by us all. Everyone knows how hard it is to raise a child, imagine getting a phone call with no notice to take in another. I'm not sure it's something I could do, but am proud to have family members that can.
They have it hard with that many kids, having to get a big car, and rent a big house is all expensive. Having to keep up with washing for that many kids is hard, and constantly cleaning up after them isn't the fun thing it seems. But they do it all, and as I said they do it with very little help. I'm surprised they haven't both gone insane, or maybe it's just they always were and we never noticed LOL. With all the running around after the kids, my daughter was studying at home, and her husband has been training for a new job. By the end of the day they are both exhausted and dream about the day the kids will all be grown up. But they don't wish it for now, they would miss out on too much, and while it might be easier if the kids were bigger and able to do more to help out, you never want to miss out on all those important milestones.
So to my daughter and her husband, I raise a glass to you both and say "You guys are amazing, I wish more people in the world were like you. I'm proud of you both and so happy you are a part of my family. Love you"
Catch yas
Cathy
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
You have no right to call yourself a ........
Mother. That's the title on todays blog, wait that sounds like I blog everyday but I'm too damn lazy to do that LOL. How about, that's the title of my latest blog and it's a bit of a rant.
We all know someone, maybe we are even related to them, they call themselves a mother, but behave in the least motherly fashion anyone possibly could. Even spiders who eat their mate leaving their children with a single parent to raise them are better than these woman are.
A mothers love has no conditions on it, we don't love our children because they visit all the time or because they take us out. It doesn't even matter if they only call us when they need our help. We love them, and that's all there is to it, there is nothing else to say. We raise them nurture them, help them to grow into the amazing adults they can become, and even if we think they could of lived their lives a little better, we don't care, they are ours and are loved, now and forever. I don't need to share the 'repost if you love your daughter/son' on Facebook, to be honest I don't care if people don't think I love my kids if I don't do the reposts, they know I do and my friends and family know I do and they are the only ones who matter to me.
I've raised my kids alone, and it wasn't easy, we struggled and did without. But one thing that was always clear was the love. Sure they'd have their oh mum doesn't love me or she loves you better moments, I had them so I expect them to do the same. But they know I love them, and they know I would do anything within my power for them, and not ask for anything in return. I don't try and use the old guilt trip on them, you never call, you only call when you want something, blah blah. Get a freaking life and enjoy the moments you do spend with your kids.
I would like nothing better than to be able to be in a relationship that allowed me the freedom to not have to work, but I don't have that, and as far as I can tell, never will. I value every moment spent with the kids, and the grand kids. If I could see them more than I do now I would be so much happier. I'd love to be able to go to one of the girls houses in the middle of the week and say, hey get out of the house, treat yourself for a couple of hours. Or take the grand kids to the park for a play while Mum relaxes, catches up on some much needed sleep, or does some cleaning, which we all know is easier child free. But I can't, I hate that I can't, but until I retire that's the way it has to be. So if one of the kids asks me to babysit, and I'm not working, I jump at the chance. (Girls this doesn't mean you can call me and ask for babysitting as soon as you read this LOL)
I see mums all around me shouting to the world what a good mother they are, no need to shout people if your really a good mother, the world already knows it. But more importantly your kids know it. I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes, and who hasn't, I dare you to say your perfect, and keep a straight face. The one constant that I live with everyday is the fact that the kids come first. It was the love for my girls that finally got me to move out of a relationship that would of ended up destroying us all completely. It is that love that drives me everyday. When I met my second husband, it was the fact that my younger daughter loved him straight up that led me to taking the next step. A step that led us around by the nose for a few years before we lost him. We had some wonderful years and the girls were joined by a brother who shared in our love.
You can't say you would do anything for your kids, and offer to help them out, and then turn around and take it all back. The world doesn't work that way, if you did it to a friend you'd soon find yourself without that friend, you can't treat people like they are your belongings, they do not owe you anything if you do not give anything back. You must love them unconditionally and respect the people they have grown into.
So to all of you who claim to be a mother, think about it, do you love your kids unconditionally and despite their faults? Do you offer to babysit at anytime and then bitch about how many times they have asked you to watch the kids? Do you tell everyone that so and so is a user and a bad son, after years of declaring to all and sundry that he was the best of the bunch? Here's a tip, get off your arse and go and visit your kids or kid, take the first step. After all, you are the one who raised them, so if you don't like them or the way they treat you, you only have yourself to blame. Don't offer to do something and then take it back, stick to your word, and when you call yourself a mother actually act like one.
After you have had your first child, you are forever after a mother, even when you are gone, you still life on as a mother, in their hearts and blood, and the hearts and blood of their children, and their childrens children, etc.
Catch yas
Cathy
PS. Yes this is about someone I know. Sorry for ignoring any dads out there who might read, including mine LOL, this does work both ways :)
We all know someone, maybe we are even related to them, they call themselves a mother, but behave in the least motherly fashion anyone possibly could. Even spiders who eat their mate leaving their children with a single parent to raise them are better than these woman are.
A mothers love has no conditions on it, we don't love our children because they visit all the time or because they take us out. It doesn't even matter if they only call us when they need our help. We love them, and that's all there is to it, there is nothing else to say. We raise them nurture them, help them to grow into the amazing adults they can become, and even if we think they could of lived their lives a little better, we don't care, they are ours and are loved, now and forever. I don't need to share the 'repost if you love your daughter/son' on Facebook, to be honest I don't care if people don't think I love my kids if I don't do the reposts, they know I do and my friends and family know I do and they are the only ones who matter to me.
I've raised my kids alone, and it wasn't easy, we struggled and did without. But one thing that was always clear was the love. Sure they'd have their oh mum doesn't love me or she loves you better moments, I had them so I expect them to do the same. But they know I love them, and they know I would do anything within my power for them, and not ask for anything in return. I don't try and use the old guilt trip on them, you never call, you only call when you want something, blah blah. Get a freaking life and enjoy the moments you do spend with your kids.
I would like nothing better than to be able to be in a relationship that allowed me the freedom to not have to work, but I don't have that, and as far as I can tell, never will. I value every moment spent with the kids, and the grand kids. If I could see them more than I do now I would be so much happier. I'd love to be able to go to one of the girls houses in the middle of the week and say, hey get out of the house, treat yourself for a couple of hours. Or take the grand kids to the park for a play while Mum relaxes, catches up on some much needed sleep, or does some cleaning, which we all know is easier child free. But I can't, I hate that I can't, but until I retire that's the way it has to be. So if one of the kids asks me to babysit, and I'm not working, I jump at the chance. (Girls this doesn't mean you can call me and ask for babysitting as soon as you read this LOL)
I see mums all around me shouting to the world what a good mother they are, no need to shout people if your really a good mother, the world already knows it. But more importantly your kids know it. I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes, and who hasn't, I dare you to say your perfect, and keep a straight face. The one constant that I live with everyday is the fact that the kids come first. It was the love for my girls that finally got me to move out of a relationship that would of ended up destroying us all completely. It is that love that drives me everyday. When I met my second husband, it was the fact that my younger daughter loved him straight up that led me to taking the next step. A step that led us around by the nose for a few years before we lost him. We had some wonderful years and the girls were joined by a brother who shared in our love.
You can't say you would do anything for your kids, and offer to help them out, and then turn around and take it all back. The world doesn't work that way, if you did it to a friend you'd soon find yourself without that friend, you can't treat people like they are your belongings, they do not owe you anything if you do not give anything back. You must love them unconditionally and respect the people they have grown into.
So to all of you who claim to be a mother, think about it, do you love your kids unconditionally and despite their faults? Do you offer to babysit at anytime and then bitch about how many times they have asked you to watch the kids? Do you tell everyone that so and so is a user and a bad son, after years of declaring to all and sundry that he was the best of the bunch? Here's a tip, get off your arse and go and visit your kids or kid, take the first step. After all, you are the one who raised them, so if you don't like them or the way they treat you, you only have yourself to blame. Don't offer to do something and then take it back, stick to your word, and when you call yourself a mother actually act like one.
After you have had your first child, you are forever after a mother, even when you are gone, you still life on as a mother, in their hearts and blood, and the hearts and blood of their children, and their childrens children, etc.
Catch yas
Cathy
PS. Yes this is about someone I know. Sorry for ignoring any dads out there who might read, including mine LOL, this does work both ways :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)