For someone with Alzheimers it can seem like Christmas never comes, for those close to this person it's even longer.
Mum started thinking about Christmas in October, and by that I mean we would go shopping and she'd start loading her trolley with chickens and corned beef, and I'd say, why are you getting more chicken and corned beef, and her answer would be for Christmas.
"Mum, Christmas is 2 months away, we haven't even had Dales birthday yet."
"No next weekend is Christmas."
"No Mum next weekend is just a weekend, we still have 2 months to go."
"Oh, are you sure?"
"Yes Mum, I'm sure, I don't have Alzheimers."
Keep in mind we go shopping every week, so this went on for 2 solid months. Along with the shopping I'd get phone calls from her.
"Oh Cathy, what do you want me to bring for Christmas Day?"
"How about we wait till it's closer to Christmas and I'll tell you Mum."
"But we only have a week."
"No Mum we have 2 months. Sorry I need to get off the phone I'm working. Can you please not call me, I'll give you a call after work."
"Oh sorry, I won't bother you."
And of course that last is said in a tone of voice dripping with sarcasm and designed to make me feel guilty, which of course it does.
I call her when I finish work.
"Oh it's lovely to hear from you. How are you? How are the kids?"
"Hi Mum, every ones fine I'm just calling you back after your call this morning."
"What call? Did I call you? Why would I call you when your working?"
Sigh, sigh, sigh
This would be repeated at least twice a week, I swear I need to just make a recording of responses, would save my voice LOL.
By the time we hit November, I was ready to explode. The constant Christmas Christmas Christmas was driving me insane. My birthday rolled around and she said, it couldn't be my birthday it was December. Sorry to disappoint you mum but it is my birthday LOL.
With the end of November I knew I had to start reminding her I was going to be on leave and wouldn't be around for a week at the start of December.
"But you'll be away for Christmas."
"No I won't Mum, I'm going to be back before Christmas."
"Oh, but what about my pills and shopping."
"I'll take you shopping before I go and after I get back, and I will make sure your pills are done for you."
"And what about Christmas Day, who will pick me up? Am I going with you?"
"No Mum, Christmas Day isn't till after I get back. Plenty of time to think about that later."
And so it went for 2 weeks before I was on leave.
Naturally I called her while away to let her know how I was going and to check on her. She had completely forgotten that I was away.
"When are we going shopping?"
"When I get home Mum."
"Oh are you out?"
"I'm at Caryns remember Mum."
"Really? Why didn't you tell me you were going? I would of mad sure to buy some presents for the kids. You should of bought the car around."
"Okay first, I did tell you, but don't worry about that I expected you to forget. Second it isn't Christmas yet and we already bought presents for the kids, they are here with me. Thirdly, you don't have a license anymore, and I have the car."
"Oh, okay then well have a nice time, bye."
Click. She hung up while I was still on the line LOL.
The next day she rings wondering where I am, and when we are going shopping.
"I'm all dressed to go shopping, where are you?"
"I'm at Caryns Mum, I told you."
"But you said we were going shopping."
"Nope not till I get back."
"Oh, when are you back?"
She pretty much called everyday then. And the convos were repeats of the others. I said to Caryn, I shouldn't of called her in the first place LOL.
On the way home, it's a 6 - 7 hr drive, I had a stop over to refuel me and the car. I noticed a missed call from Mum so I called her, why oh why do I do it, whyyyyyy.
"Why didn't you answer the phone, I've been calling and calling, I've been waiting to go shopping."
"I didn't answer because I didn't hear the phone, and when I'm driving I'm not going to answer."
"The least you can do is pull over and take my call. Did you know it was me?"
"Mum, stop, I didn't hear the phone, I'm driving I've got the tunes cranking and I can't hear it."
"Well I'm waiting, hurry up."
"Mum, sorry but we aren't going shopping till tomorrow, I'm on my way home from Caryns. I won't get back until late this afternoon."
"Then why did you tell me we'd go shopping today, you should of told me. You shouldn't of ignored my call. I can't help it that I can't remember."
And then she started crying. My stomach turned over, and I was no longer feeling hungry.
"Mum, it's okay, I'll call you when I get home."
She sniffed fine, and hung up.
When I did finally get home, I unloaded the car and called her.
"Oh Cathy, how was your holiday, did the kids like their presents?"
It was as if the other call hadn't even happened. No way was I going to remind her about it LOL.
From then until the week before Christmas, we were back to the normal routine, of no mum it's not Christmas yet, yes Mum all the presents have been bought, blah blah.
I took her to a local Millers, and got her to pick something out for Christmas. She wanted to take it straight away, but I wouldn't let her. The way I figured it she would forget what it was in a week, and she'd get a surprise. She tried to convince me she wouldn't because it was clothes and she never forgets clothes LOL.
Saturday, Christmas Eve, we went shopping, and all talk of Christmas had stopped.
"Why are there so many cars in the car park?"
"Because it's Christmas Eve Mum."
"No, we already had Christmas."
Sigh lol
You can imagine how the day went, with Mum constantly going on about the crowds, and me constantly reminding her it was Christmas Eve LOL.
I decided to call her that evening to remind her I'd be picking her up in the morning, and sure enough she'd forgotten. But I figured she would hence the call.
Christmas Day was spent at my eldest daughter, Tara's place. It was a good day with the kids running around enjoying their presents and family gathered. I was outside with Pippa and Stella, showing them how to play totem tennis, when I heard Mum talking to my brother.
"Have you see your father lately?"
"No, haven't seen him for a long time."
"Well, he's had his legs lengthened, he looks very strange."
"Ummm, what?"
I interrupted then to say it hadn't happened, and she got all shitty and says.
"I know what I saw Cathy, he told me all about it when he bought the deeds to the house up."
"Okay Mum, but it didn't happen and you've had the deeds for ages."
As the day wore on you could see the change in her, she started to repeat everything constantly, told the same story over and over again. But hey no big deal, at least she forgot about the leg lengthening surgery LOL.
So I'm glad Christmas is over, but I do love it. I'm not sure how Mum will be next year, so all we can do is have fun and celebrate for as long as we can. I know the day will come when she doesn't know any of us. It's not a day I look forward to, so we'll make the most of what we have. I'm glad that we share the same sick sense of humor and can make fun of the situation. I would hate to be normal, so to speak, and spend the whole time crying about it. Life is what it is, it sucks, it's great, all we can do is take one day at a time as they say, and make the most of it.
Oh and I was right, she had totally forgot about the blouse I bought her for Christmas, point to me LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
