Life in the Twilight Zone - Done

Well not done done, Mum is still kicking LOL. Done with the house, done. Finally.

There is so much to do when selling, it's not all about keeping the place clean and tidy for open houses, or the odd drop ins. It's not about keeping in touch with your Solicitor and Real Estate Agent. It's not about changing addresses, and closing services. It's not about making sure all the bills are paid. At least it hasn't been for me. Sure those things need doing, but they are minor compared with dealing with the home of someone who has lived there for 60 years. Someone who built the house and has never lived anywhere else. And it's all about their fucking crap. 

I get that there is going to be stuff, I have stuff, I'm sure you have stuff, but bloody hell, my mother had S T U F F. Yep, need to use caps for that one. I had 2 weeks annual leave, wanted to get away totally for the first week and a bit, so headed down to my daughters. Sounded crazy to her that I wanted to go down and relax when she has 4 kids 7 and under. But after everything that's been going on with Mum, it was like stepping into another world. A world of screaming kids, kids that would throw a tantrum over a missing lego piece, kids that would be all over you, and not let you watch what you wanted on TV lol. And I loved it, every single second of it. No sleep ins, but lots of naps, which didn't necessarily involve sleeping, just time reading in bed. At home I would of been stressed to the max, there, I had nothing to worry about. It was fan bloody tastic. 

Second week, not so much. My brother had found a place to move to, woohoo. But this of course involved getting him and his crap out of the house in my last week of leave. Naturally he didn't have leave, so I was doing the main part all week. I had to deal with his depression over having to leave the only home he's ever known, and his stress, as well as my own. He has had months to get organised, but was he? Nope, not a fucking chance of that. He also had no clue what he was doing about finding a place as he has never had to before. So I had to teach him, cause I've done it a gazillion times. 

I told him to cull his shit. He went from a 3 bedroom house, with heaps of storage and space, to a one bedroom, with nada lol. I walked through the place with him, and his form, and noted all the shit that they hadn't put down as being broken, or damaged. He asked why he had to and I said, do you want to be blamed when and if you ever move out? To me it's logical, but to someone who's never done it, it's weird. That first week, I took a load down every day. Kitchen stuff he wanted, books, clothes, linen. The house wasn't anywhere near empty even with that. On the last weekend, I hired a ute for the Saturday. We had a few bigish pieces of stuff that had to come up here, and the rest of his million and one crates of fucking books. We also stopped off while we had the ute and picked him up a fridge and couch. Mums fridge is a huge side by side 2 door, no way could he fit that in, so that's my sons now, and the couch was an old shit thing 3 seater that he hated. He had the cash so we got a smaller fridge and 2 seater couch for him. 

We loaded in crates, boxes, loose crap both small and big, drove up and down, and still it wasn't enough. Sunday meant more trips in the car, up and down, round and round. And he was still packing shit up as we went. Why the hell one person needs 6 fucking back packs when they only use 1, is beyond me. And yet the kitchen stuff was only 2 to 3 boxes, boggles my mind lol. He currently has 4 bookshelf's in his bedroom, and one in the lounge room, and they are all double shelved (2 rows of books on each shelf) and he still has more to unpack. I've got another bookshelf for him I've yet to take down as well. He has no wardrobe as that was kind of built in at mums, I say kind of cause it was huge and was built in the bedroom, couldn't possible move it. He also had 2 push bikes to take down, but what we did with them, was I'd have a load in the car, and he'd ride one down meet me there and I'd drive him back up for the next bike. Did mean I had a bit of extra space in the car lol. 

He finally had enough, we had his essentials there, and he abandoned the rest. Then began the next stage. Cleaning the rest of the crap out. 

I had to go back to work on the Monday, but I'd had a contact from the Real Estate come out on Sunday while we were there, and I showed him around the place, and said it all has to go, by Friday lol. He was lovely, he really was. Didn't faze him at all, not even my brothers room lol. I had already been taking loads of crap to the tip, and when I say crap I mean, broken things and expired food (6 garbage bags of it), and had bought a lot of cleaning products up here. But still that wasn't enough, and I was done with a capital D. He started Monday, and finally finished Friday morning. 

There was stuff under the house, I can blame both Mum and Dad for that lot. When they had the kitchen redone, everything went under the house, they didn't  chuck it out and it was useless crap. There was also crap in the yard, same thing, just shoved in a corner and the weeds grew over it. Everything I hadn't been able to see in the garage sale, and no one wanted, had to go. Furniture, Mum had decided she wanted that used to be my Nana's, it wasn't needed, she just wanted it. She had enough cutlery to host the Olympics, but not enough plates so they'd have to bring their own. Saucepans with handles falling off, that had been replaced with new shiny ones, but never thrown out. Fry pans that were burnt or broken in some other way, and newer ones, more than 2 people would ever need. Cake tins, muffin tins, bread tins, cooling racks, trays, all the latest and all the freaking oldest. Plastic containers, no lids, lids, no containers, plastic cups, paper plates, coffee cups, glasses, 7 bread boards, 3 knife sets in blocks, ladles, potato mashes, potato peelers, the list is fucking endless. The spice and sauce cupboard was filled to the brim, and yet when we went through it, there was basically 4 sauces and about 10 spices that we kept, 90% were expired. She had little plastic organisers, freezer bags (unopened packs) in every single cupboard. Sandwich bags all over the place, yet only one lot of cling wrap and alfoil, 2 of the things she would of used the most lol. 

I bagged up as much as I could and everything went into the almost empty back room. I did nothing in my brothers room, except look at it and cry internally. Mums room had already been cleaned out, just one bit of furniture that was broken to go. And I'd actually vacuumed in there lol. The spare room, had been cleaned out already, only had my brothers pc and desk left, so we took that down to his new place. The bathroom, arrrggghhh, forgot I hadn't cleaned out all the drawers, so had to throw out bags and bags of make up that was all almost used or expired. Lounge room, had assorted stuff in it, lounge, desk, coffee tables that had broken legs (which is what every home needs just in case), books my brother abandoned, broken pottery, a small bookshelf that she'd used for her phone, and the fold out table that was a wedding present. Everything from the kitchen had been bagged so that was empty, and I'd already done the laundry, so it was just the backroom, which had a dresser another big desk, and a sewing machine cabinet, and all the bags of crap I'd thrown out there. In my brothers room, the wardrobe had to be dismantled and the wall unit he had in there as well. He had crap still in the wardrobe and a trunk full of magazines, also a porn collection under his bed lol. I'm pretty sure the room hasn't been vacuumed or dusted in 30 years, could be more, but I opened the windows and walked out. 

Then there was the shed. 2 lawn mowers that didn't work. Enough gardening tools for the gardeners at Buckingham Palace (most still in wrappings and unused), old broken stools, old broken pots, another bike (broken a bit, my son took that to fix up) and crap crap and more crap. She'd even put boxes of books in there and forgotten about them, so naturally they were all just rubbish. Old pots and hoses in the yard, old garbage bins, compost bins, and an old bit of our old clothes line which was pulled down years and years ago. I'd arranged to have the asbestos from under the house removed, but they found more, sigh. Another bike, assorted paint and poisons all in the shed and under the house. 5 days it took him. 5 fucking days to get it all cleaned out. The house was by no means a hoarders house, you could walk around it free and easy, but because of all the storage, everything was hidden away. I'd gotten rid of some stuff before I left, our local council does a free clean up service twice a year, but they will only take so much, and the house was still filled. 

I don't know if it's because I've moved so much, or because of Mum, but I can move my whole house in one day with a truck, or a ute, and I know this because I've done it. And I did it with 3 kids and their crap as well. So 7 days to move my brother, and a gazillion days to clean out a house. I have cleaned off my old bookshelf for my brother, and have culled the small number of books I had, I've culled clothes, with more to go, and my cupboards are full, but any food that expires, goes, any broken pots or whatever, goes. I'm not keeping jack. My kids will have to dispose of stuff, sure, but it won't take them as long as it's taken me, it will take them a day and that's it, done. 

I am so glad it's all over, and I can now relax a bit. Life still goes on, Mum still has Alzheimers, we are all getting older lol, but one chapter has been closed completely and I will never have to do that again. Please, don't be my mum or brother, cull your shit. Remember that if you don't, your heirs will have to, and why would you do that to them? They won't have the time to miss you because they'll be cleaning out your S T U F F and thinking fuck me, how did this happen. I've changed all addresses, shut off services, redirected the mail, and returned the foxtel box, I'm pretty sure that's it LOL. I still have stuff of Mums here, I've saved memories and trinkets, I've got photo boxes and albums, but it's all culled to the extreme and packed neatly away. I'll do another cull now the house is gone, and will empty her files of non essentials, and get on with life. 

Wouldn't mind a weekend at a spa, or just being pampered lol. 

Catch yas

Cathy

Life in the Twilight Zone - A Day Out

First full day back home from being a way amongst 4 grand kids, and no stress. Yep, that's right no stress, sure the kids are loud, but it wasn't stressful. Sure they have tantrums left right and centre, but I didn't stress. The drive is long and boring, but no stress, it was just all so relaxing to be able to get away without worrying about Mum. It's the first holiday I've had in ages that she wasn't in hospital, or at home calling me up constantly. It was fucking awesome. 

I did feel a bit guilty for missing her birthday, but I sent her flowers, and if they hadn't of told her it was her birthday she wouldn't of known lol. I can say that with a straight face, as she had her calendar turned to the month of November lol. 

I'd arranged to take her to the solicitor today to get her will done, need it done before she gets too bad and that will cause all sorts of complications. It's basic, she has nothing, and nothing is what we'll get lol. I arrived at the Nursing Home at 8 am, knowing that she would dawdle, and she did. She was having breakfast when I arrived, got all excited and eager to go, but not until she'd had her coffee, sigh. She also had a bowl of cereal, some toast and some fruit, but it's not like we were in a hurry or anything. 

I wanted her to get changed, because she was wearing winter gear, and I knew it was going to be a stinking hot day, and it has been. So it's open the cupboard and gets out her make up, she already had makeup on, goes into the bathroom, "Oh I forgot my lipstick." comes out and opens the cupboard, forgets what she wanted and says "I need shampoo". Goes back into the bathroom, "Oh I forgot my lipstick." comes back out, opens the cupboard, and yep you guessed it, mentioned something else, and forgets her lipstick again. 4 times she did that, but who's counting. 

I managed to get her into a nice t shirt and no jacket. She did insist on bringing the jacket though, it stayed in the car till we got back lol. 

Finally on our way, later than I would of liked, especially with the traffic in the morning. But off we went. She mentioned she needed shampoo 5 times, I assured her she didn't each time, and she got the look. She purses her lips and acts all huffy like she knows she's right and your a fucking idiot. For the record she has 2 full bottles of shampoo, so no she didn't need any, unpurse those lips lol. I chatted about my time away, she looked confused, so pretty normal really. 

The solicitor was already to go when we got there. And he got the will written out and sent it off to be typed. Saving us having to hunt for parking twice. He made the mistake of mentioning her being left handed, so she regaled us with the same story of her childhood, and how a teacher had told her Mum that she'd never be able to be a teacher if she was a leftie, and Mum proved her wrong and did just that. It's funny the first time you hear it, not so much when your sitting in a hot little room and she's retelling for the 4th time, just in case we missed it. She wants to be cremated, so I'm pushing for a Viking funeral. There's a lovely lake in Wentworth Falls that would be perfect. Unfortunately she doesn't seem too keen, but hey she'll be dead so she won't know lol. 

Will signed and back to the car we go. I told her I'd take her for a run past Andrews new place so she could see where he was going to be living. She was very excited, then paid no attention to the unit, but kept going on about the cemetery across the road. Took her to the Plaza, parked her at a table and ordered coffee and cake while I ducked into Aldi and grabbed a couple of things.I decided to take her into the pharmacy cause I knew she wanted some new make up, didn't need it just wanted it lol. I showed her were the makeup was then went and got the hair stuff she actually needed and some sani pads for her. I come back she's picked out an incredibly dark foundation, so I put that back and got a neutral one, got the pursed lips again lol. I took everything up to pay, turn around and she's gone. Naturally she's up the shampoo aisle. "Mum, you don't need shampoo." "Yes I do, I guarantee I need it." "Well I guarantee you don't, come on we have to get to Big W." Lips pursed she followed. 

I head to the toys, with Mum and her walker. Pick out some lego, then turn to talk to her, and she's nowhere to be seen. Naturally I panic, she could be anywhere, could of been abducted by aliens, or a pervert could of offered her a snickers to get in his van. But nope she was off asking someone where the shampoo was lol. Dragged her back and told her we weren't shopping for her, she had no money, she goes "I just sold my house I have money, sniff". For the record, yes the house is sold, she had no part in it, and settlement isn't till the 20th, so she has no money. 

I grabbed something else for Nash, then let her go back to the hair stuff, I knew where it was without asking lol, and let her grab some hair styling shit. That was all she needed anyway. I also bought her a snickers, so she isn't tempted to get in a strange van lol. I decided to stop in her hometown Blaxland, and treat her to lunch. Made the mistake of taking her through the arcade, past IGA and naturally she wants to go in and get her hair stuff, oh and fruit. "Mum, hair stuff in the car, fruit at nursing home, lets get lunch." Sitting down to eat and she asks me how my older brother is, "So how's Anthony is he still involved with that religious group?" "Ummm, what?" "You know the group that his wifes family are involved in. It worrries me that him and the boys could get trapped there." "Mum, Anthony is not involved in a religious group, if he went to church it would explode or his skin would come out in boils. Jann is not involved in a religious group, and neither is her family. The boys aren't boys they are in their 30's." Her lips started to purse, "Don't purse your lips at me Mum. You know Anthony, do you seriously think religion is his thing?" She started to say "But, I know, oh well I guess you know. My mind is not that great right now. Can we stop into IGA I need shampoo?" I refrained from banging my head on the table, it wasn't easy but I managed lol. 

She wanted to stop by the house, just for one last goodbye. I dreaded her bursting into tears, but felt she should. Plus she needed to go to the toilet lol. We pull up, and off she goes. She was taking forever in the toilet, so I hunted her down, and found her in the bathroom, cleaning. "Mum, why are you cleaning?" "So we can sell the house." "It's been sold Mum, no need to clean anymore." "Oh, well I'll just check if there's any shampoo here then." She didn't want a last lingering look at the house, she went to the loo then it was off again. 

Oh the way back to the Nursing Home, "Oh, I wish we'd gone and seen Andrews new place." "We did, you looked at the cemetery." "Oh. Do we have time to drive past the house, one last time." "You just went and weed in the toilet there, one last time Mum." "Oh, well I don't remember." No shit Sherlock lol. "Can we stop in Springwood, I need some hair stuff?" On reflection she's lucky I didn't run us into a tree, or truck. Naturally I would of tried to get the main impact on her side lol. She rambled off and on the whole way back, mostly about hair stuff, I ignored her, just nodded and said, sure, next time, uh huh a lot lol. Once back at the Nursing Home, she went straight to her wardrobe and opened it with a flourish, "There see, no shampoo." I stepped around her, reached in and pulled out not one, but 2 brand new bottles. "What's this then." "Someone must of gotten some for me, you better go see if we need to pay for them." I decided that it was a good time to say goodbye. Would be very suspicious if I take her down on the day the will gets signed lol. 

So despite all the de stressing I did, I am now feeling like I never went anywhere, and I need a holiday lol. 

Catch yas
Cathy

It's all in the translation

I'm going to weigh in on the "Gun Control" debate cause I'm sick and tired of seeing the bullshit in the US media, and all over Facebook. 

A school gets shot up, students die, and what happens? People start pushing for Gun Control, as you would expect. The surviving students themselves, are pushing for Gun Control, as you would also expect. And yet thousands of Americans are suddenly up in arms over the idea of Gun Control. They say the students are paid actors, that they won't give up their Second Amendment rights, they tell stories about how if there is Gun Control, they will lose all their freedoms, that this is the first step into all rights being stripped from them, and they will no longer be free. Firstly, bullshit, secondly, wtf. Children died, again, and here you are whining about not being able to keep your AR 15, or the fact that you would be stopped from purchasing one. And you're whining about the age you should be allowed to purchase a gun, and the fact that they want better checks done before you're allowed to purchase a firearm? Seriously? This is what you whine about? 

Gun Control, has nothing to do with stripping rights, it's about stopping the ease with which anybody can purchase a gun, and stopping them from purchasing guns that are not necessary. What would you need it for? If it's for a gun collection, then have it disabled, and shove it in your gun cabinet. But before you get it, go through the checks, anyone who cares about children, would be happy to do so. Stop telling everyone how you have trained your children to respect guns and to use them, seriously that means jack shit. You have no idea what your child goes through each day, just because you believe they are okay, doesn't mean they are, doesn't mean you are either. 

Stop using Jews and Hitler as a reason to keep your guns and purchase as many as you want. Firstly, he wasn't voted into power, he was selected as Chancellor, not by any votes, and that paved the way to a dictatorship. Jews did not give up their rights, they were taken away by a mad man. Many escaped, many more didn't. What Hitler did was horrific, and no one wants a repeat of it. Many of the same people now going on about their Second Amendment rights have also believed that the Holocaust never happened, so stop using it. No one in the whole world believed that Hitler would actually do what he did, so why should the Jewish people have believed it would happen either. 

But the main thing to me and 99% of the world, is why the hell are you all questioning the need for Gun Control? Children are dying, at a place that should be safe for them. They go to school and should come back home, but they don't. And they don't because some fucker gets it into his/her head to get a gun and shoot up a school. You can go on and on about how the kid was bullied and that needs to be addressed, and yes bullying is an issue that needs to be addressed, but don't take an act of domestic terrorism and turn it into a war against the victims. Every time one of you puts shit on one of the students who is speaking out, or posts memes showing them as idiots, you are showing that you are in fact a bully. You are showing your lack of caring. Putting guns into the hands of teachers, who don't want them, is not caring, it's not a solution. Teaching children how to safely handle guns, is not a solution. Taking the issue of Gun Control serious is a step in the right direction. No one is going to take all your guns away, so stop with the childish behaviour. Act like the adults you claim to be, and really look at the problem, think of real solutions, be proactive about something that is fucking real. 

Stop blaming each other for the problems, stop showing your children that you are nothing but a child yourself with your words and actions. Actually teach them something worthwhile. Stop changing the words Gun Control to taking away our rights and guns, cause that's not what it means at all. All the Gun Control peeps want is to make it harder to get guns, to stop just anyone from being able to buy as many as they want and whatever they want, which results in less children dying. Sure anyone intent on getting one still can if they try hard enough or pay enough, but it won't be easy for them. The only thing you will lose is the ability to buy a gun that you don't fucking need to feel protected, or for hunting. Stop letting the media stir you up, they are paid to do just that, stop justifying your reason for having a gun, we don't care if you have one and we don't want it for ourselves, stand up be counted as one of the many who actually care about your fucking country and it's future. 

Catch yas 
Cathy

Life in the Twilight Zone - Gulp

Mixed feelings on this one guys. It's the end of an era for my family, the family homestead is officially on the market.

Mum and Dad bought the land, built a garage to live in, while building the house and moved into the house back in 1958. There wasn't very many shops in the area, no footpaths, and no fancy lifts to use to make getting over the railway line easier. But it was and is still a truly beautiful area. It's easy to see why they purchased the block surrounded by bushland in such a quiet peaceful street. 

I say mixed feelings because my family built and owned this house, it has been theirs to call home for almost 60 years, but it will be a relief when it's sold, knowing that Mum will be comfortable for the rest of her life. I would love to be able to hold onto it, but it's not possible. They built it, they extended it, they raised the 3 of us in it. Both were involved in Blaxland Rural Fire Brigade, something we are all proud of. Dad would be out defending other peoples homes and livelihoods, while Mum and the other ladies would keep them going with food and drinks. 

Our friends lived around the corner, or up the street a bit. We grew up playing in the bush next door and behind us. We frequented the sandpit as it was known by locals, and clambered around the waterhole and waterfall. Later we would go motorbike riding down the fire trails, easy access for us as they were just behind us. We cooked potatoes in the ashes of the fires Dad built to burn off all the leaves every winter. Collecting kindling for the open fire in the house was essential, and one of our jobs. I remember walking home from the bus stop one day and we thought there was something wrong when we rounded the corner. Only to realise later that it was a huge tree that had fallen down. Typical kids, something looked different but we didn't know what lol. 

I remember the Christmas we got the mini bike, and we were all up at the crack of dawn to have a ride, before heading to Sydney for Christmas Day. I remember climbing up on the pergola with ease, now I don't like climbing a ladder. I remember sitting in the mulberry tree eating and eating. Swimming in our above ground pool, was a luxury, not everyone had one, so we were thrilled to have it. All in all we lived a great existence, despite the fact we would of whined alot lol. 

My brothers nickname FUD is in the concrete on the back step. I wish I'd had a chance to write my name lol. My tiny little bedroom, it was my escape and also the place to escape from. Sneaking a smoke in my room, I was so daring, and blowing the smoke out the window, incense burning of course. Throwing up in the bin after a night drinking, underage of course, sorry Dad hehehehe. The party we threw when Mum and Dad were away, and all the trash later found in the garden, usually by Dad lol. 

But memories will not die, we have photos as well. The truth is we cannot hold onto the house, and that is a harsh reality of life, but our memories will not be sold with the house, they will remain. The good times and the bad, the fun and happiness that was our lives will not disappear when the house is sold, it will live on. 

So mixed emotions, raging emotions, tear to the eye emotions, but always in the back of the mind is the facts and that we have to deal with it all. It's not going to kill us, when it sells, and the relief that Mum is protected will be immense, but I won't say I won't cry, cause I damn well will.

Catch yas
Cathy

Life in the Twilight Zone - Sweat sweat and more sweat

People, please remember that everything you don't do, regarding cleaning up and discarding unused, broken or unnecessary items, leaves something for your family to deal with, and believe me it's not fun. 

Garage sale at Mum's was on Saturday. If you're not in Australia, you may not know that we had Australia Day on Friday, so I didn't have to work, woohoo. I've been trying to go around to Mum's every day to do a little bit. Got to much for me last week, with having a late shift and not finishing till 7pm, did not want to go around after work, just wanted to chill. So I took 2 days off, Wednesday and Thursday and then had the long weekend, 5 days off. Sounds great, right? 5 days off work, who doesn't love a break? Yeh, wish it had been a break. Worked non stop at Mum's, cleaning out her room, yep hadn't finished it, even after taking 30 garbage bags of clothes, shoes, bags and accessories to the op shop still had more to do. 

It's been stinking hot over here, and Mum had no ac, she had a ceiling fan in her room, but all it did was stir up the dust and the warm air. Water on hand, towel to wipe the sweat from my brow, I dug in. I finished her room the first day, couldn't face attempting anything else, just wanted to jump in a cold shower, or a nice spa. Settled for the shower since I don't have a spa lol. Thursday morning, I woke with the dread of knowing I had to get around there again and continue. 

Spare room this time, my old room. She still has my old bed in there, can't sell it cause it's terrible, but we'll get rid of it. Wardrobe filled with absolute garbage for the most part. Although I did find a foot spa to sell. We always knew she had a lot of material for patchwork, but when I found all the wool, I was shocked. She had bags of it, and in those bags were all started projects, that were just packed away when she lost interest. Judging by the amount she'd done on each, she lost interest very quickly. I guess I was lucky not to find any art supplies, or pottery stuff. They were also hobbies she had. I'd already thrown out a lot of books that were filled with Latin from when she did that. Then there was the computer that she went to classes for, but never quite grasped. Wasn't surprised when I saw the reams of print outs from her class, was way to technical for someone of Mum's age just starting out. She could barely operate her answering machine, and thought she could tackle a pc lol. 

Kudos to her for all she had tried, and did well at. But I just wish she had of thought ahead and gotten rid of the stuff when she was done with it. Latin dictionaries, old school books, computer lessons, and more. In everything I cleaned out there was always random photos, and wait for it..............................scissors! Yep, scissors. No idea how she got so many or why she had so many, but it was raining bloody scissors.

After another day of sweating like a pig, I headed back home for another cold shower. Then I had to get to the bank for change for the garage sale, sigh.

Friday came with a groan, and I headed back around. My daughter Caryn was driving up from Henty (google it LOL) to help out. My younger brother was home so it was back into the spare room, this time to tackle the bookshelf and it's shelves bursting with magazines, all about quilting and patchwork of course. As I carried load after load out to the back room, my brother loaded boxes with books, and checked in to make sure I wasn't throwing out anything of his LOL. He's a bit of a hoarder too, but with him it's always books, and it's mostly confined to his room. There is bookshelves in the hallway, filled with books, but they are stored away so aren't an issue. On the other hand Mum kept the house clean, but every single nook and cranny was filled with material and all that goes with it. 

After another sweat filled morning, I headed home for lunch and replenished my water and drank another shitload. When Caryn arrived, she thought she could get in a nap, I let her have coffee instead LOL. I don't think she'd fully grasped the enormity of the task ahead when I'd sent her pics and instant messages. Piles and piles of magazines all at least $7 a pop, plastic containers and cardboard boxes, filled with material. You'd open a door in a cupboard and there's more material LOL. We had a full basket full of scissors, another with cotton thread, another with buttons, and then there was the basket of needles and pins. Mum was always on at me to go to Spotlight to get new needles, I should of just forced her to search her house for them LOL. 

We did as much as we could that night but knew it wasn't enough, it was just too much for us to handle in the heat. Having a few drinks that night we laughed over all the shit we'd found, but under the laughter was the realisation that we shouldn't have to do this. While not a full on hoarder, Mum hoarded so much crap. I'm sure she didn't realise it for the most part, she didn't remember buying stuff half the time, and to her it was quite normal to have so much material, as she was always sewing. We did have a great time looking over her old photos, she had so many different hairstyles and glasses over the years, was just hilarious. Of course, Caryn laughed very hard at the pics of me when I was younger lol. 

Saturday dawned and off we set. As always happens with Garage Sales there is people there before the set time to start. We were trying to get stuff outside so we didn't have everyone walking into the house, and there was people coming down the driveway. And again, not even 8 am and I was the sweat machine lol. My other daughter Tara came down with her family, and I have to say her hubby was a great salesman, selling plants and pots outside that we didn't even think of selling, was awesome. Around 8 am, when we were scheduled to start the polite sewers arrived. They went crazy, well not crazy but were buying up the material and other stuff, having a field day. We had priced it all cheap, it wasn't anything we wanted, and they all knew that the prices were great. They were on the phone calling friends to come as well, was just fantastic. 

A couple bought the basket of scissors, all of them. Naturally being macabre people we decided they must be serial killers, and as our dna and fingerprints were now on the scissors the finger of blame will be pointing directly at us lol. Another lady bought the full basket of cotton, another all the needles, went like hot cakes lol. We sold a lot of books as well, one guy bought 260 of them. Okay, so he owns a secondhand book store but still it was awesome lol. Another elderly gentleman was an absolute crackup, kept calling me girl lol. We had piles of books, and he was saying "Girl can you bend down and get that one, Nora Roberts, I want to look at all your Nora Roberts books." lol. He ended up buying a stack of them, and ordered his son (who was equally lovely) to carry them to the car. I was walking with him up the drive when he spotted the pots of orchids Mum had on the verandah. He ended up buying 2 huge pots, and arranged to come back and get them as there was no room left in the car lol. 

It always amazes me what people will quibble over price wise. A huge bookshelf, selling for $15 and all these people are saying, no too much. Gave me the shits, especially when I know it cost alot more than that. But hey you don't want to pay it, don't, I wouldn't reduce the price and they left lol. There was a drink trolley that I offered to one woman for $5, no no too expensive, she came back later to get it, but I'd sold it lol.

So despite the fact there is still a shitload of books, pretty much all the magazines, and a bookshelf filled with material still left along with alot of furniture, it was a great day and we made a shitload of money. My girls help was fantastic, love them to bits. 

Another thing Mum was doing was using powder constantly. When her doctor told her to use curash for a rash under her boobs, sorry tmi I know lol, she took it as gospel and used it constantly. Everything surface, every item of clothing, every nick nack, every book, and all over the carpet, fucking powder. A film of powder spreads everywhere, like some sort of creeping vine. After picking up something, your hands are covered in it. As the fans spin, the powder swirls in the air, horrible shit. Oh, speaking of fans. We had the ceiling fan in the back room on, and another smaller one we were selling. My deepest regret was selling the fan lol. I should of taken around some of mine, but someone could of sold them lol. 

Sunday, I headed up to see Mum, picking Caryn up on the way, she'd spent the night at Tara's and gone out on the town lol. I was so happy to show Caryn how great the nursing home is. We went in, and the residents were all in the lounge playing games. Mum was shouting out all the answers lol. It's great and such a relief that she is really settling in well. She is basically only in her room to sleep, much like she was before she was diagnosed she is never in there, always out and about at different activities lol. We didn't stay long, it was lunchtime, but we were there long enough to see how happy she was. Sure she's still confused, and doesn't remember anything we say, but she's healthy and happy, what more could we ask for. 

We did go back to Mum's and packed away some stuff, and I got photos to post online for what we didn't sell, then it was home to chill, laugh, gossip, drink and stuff our faces, perfect end to a hectic weekend. Tara texted to say she'd sold something online already lol, and that was the icing on the cake. Just perfect. 

I know it's not finished, there is still the cleanup, more to try and sell, but I feel that for the first time in a long time, I'm getting myself back. No more having to go and check on Mum constantly, no more worrying about her every second of every day. I know she's in the best possible place she can be, and she's happy. The rest of it, the sale of the house and the clean up, are all just shit to get done. I'm not stressed over it. Will take it all to the tip if I have to lol. 

At the end of the day, the message is this, get rid of your shit while you still can. Don't leave it to your family to do, it's not fair to expect others to do it for you. Don't waste time and money buying stuff you don't need or don't use. I'm not saying don't enjoy your life, because we should all do that, but when something is no longer needed, sell it, donate it, throw it in the trash, just clean it out.

Catch yas
Cathy


Oh almost forgot, we found her wedding dress. Was in great condition considering the last time it was worn was over 60 years ago. Caryn said "Why didn't you tell me about this dress, I could of gotten married in it?" I looked her up and down and said, "Nope would of been too small." we both cracked up lmfao. 

Life in the Twilight Zone - Let the Cleanup Commence

We've always known that Mum has a lot of clothes, she has her favourites (that you see her wearing a lot), her just in cases, and her lets waste some money on something I don't need nor will I ever wear clothes. Last weekend we emptied her chest of drawers, one garbage bag of crap, one of donatable stuff, and a drawer full for her to take to the nursing home. Now don't go thinking, a drawer? seriously? you are horrible people lol. These drawers are big, she had 2 drawers full of socks, who the hell needs 70 (might be an exaggeration) pairs of socks. Black, navy, brown, white, orange, red and pale blue. My sock drawer, is black and white socks, that's it, and not even close to the number she had. She also had 2 drawers full of undies, bras and singlets. She now has 20 pairs of undies (she doesn't need that much, but they will wear out) about 4 bras, and 10 singlets. The next 2 drawers were filled with summer and winter pjs. She had enough to wear a different set every night, now she doesn't lol. She also had ones in with holes in them, or she had the pants but not the top to match, or vice a versa, pants with no elastic, and nighties that she never wears cause she hates nighties. 

As I cull, I can't help but think what she could of done with the money she wasted. She could of renoed the kitchen like she wanted, or the bathroom which needed it. But nope, lets go shopping and buy shit I don't need. Had to go round to meet an agent this morning, so went early to start tackling her room again, yep still cleaning out one fucking room, and can't move onto the next until that is done. She has a small room off her bedroom, that was built as a study, but she turned into a walk in robe. That is now emptied, the 2 racks of clothes she had in there are now gone. I didn't get rid of it all lol, I have kept some, like the long sleeved tops and pants that she will need come winter. But no one needs 10 pairs of black track pants, and that isn't an exaggeration, unfortunately. I basically kept one pair of each colour for her. She can still mix and match, she likes to do that, but what she has is manageable and still more than me lol. I've got some piles that need to be labelled with the nifty new labels I got her, and stuff to pack away for winter. I was thinking today though, that with an 8 drawer chest of drawers and the wardrobe at the home, I might be able to fit all seasons in. Not that she could, but I damn well can, do it with my shit, so should be able to do it with hers lol.

I was up yesterday to take some stuff up and pay her a visit, was hanging a couple of things up and folding others, and she goes, 
"Oh you need to hang those." 
"They're track pants Mum, I'm not hanging track pants."
"They hold the iron crease better if hung."
"No one is ironing track pants Mum, they get folded, this is the space you have, nothing more, just this."
"Oh, can we get another wardrobe?"

I took a deep breath and said no, then continued with putting away her clothes lol.

So today I took 5 bags of clothes to donate, there are still 2 there, that I couldn't fit in the car, and I haven't started on her actual wardrobe yet. So yeh, you can see how much crap she has. I even found the covers for fold up umbrellas, she had 6 of them, no umbrellas to match just the covers lol. I also threw out most of the coat hangers she has, I'd say, out of the ones I threw away, 80% of them are the plastic ones they use in the store. And 20% of them were wire hangers that are just gross (yes Caryn, no wire hangers lol). She has 7 spare at the home, and about 30 on her bed, she won't need them, so I'll see if anyone in the family wants them, once I make sure she has enough. 

Next to tackle will be her wardrobe, no doubt I'll get 5 bags to donate out of that as well, sigh. Out of the stuff I've selected for her to have at the home, I will probably cull again, seemed to me like it was too much, but it is both summer and winter, so once I sort that I'll have a better idea. Then I can finally get to her bed, strip it down, store the quilt after washing, and the blanket, the electric blanket I'll sell at the garage sale, and then I can move onto the next room. I have to admit, her room and the backroom are the worse, not going near my brothers room, that's up to him, I'd just go in there with a blow torch lol. The lounge suite is going to be sold, the tv is going with Andrew, and Mums chair is going with her, that just leaves a lamp (sell) some coffee tables (sell) exercise bike (sell), her old foldable table (not sure yet) and an old desk that is falling apart (tip). My old bedroom still has my original bed (tip), bookshelves (sell), Andrews pc and desk (going with him) and in the wardrobe, patchwork materials, wadding etc (sell). All in all, it's the clean up and deciding what needs to be preserved, like photos etc, what needs to be sold and what needs to be turfed lol. 

With all of that, plus all the running around I'm doing, is it any wonder, I'm absolutely exhausted and have a constant headache. Well time to have some food, then back to it, sigh. 

Catch yas
Cathy

Life in the Twilight Zone - A Change is in the Air

Going to give you all a bit of background about what has been happening lately. Early December, Mum had yet another fall, which resulted in shattering bones in her arm and dislocating her shoulder, later also discovered was a small fracture in her hip. She's been in Hospital ever since. 

This is Mums version, well we'll start with version one. 

1. I was going outside to bring in the washing, and slipped under the clothesline. I called and called, and a neighbour man, who was big and strong, came and carried me into the house. He made me a sandwich and a cup of coffee before taking me to the hospital. He was lovely.

2. I was going outside to do some gardening, when I slipped on the slope, probably because of the very long grass. I called and called for help, and a neighbour man, who was big and strong, came and carried me into the house. He made me a sandwich and a cup of coffee before calling his wife, who was a nurse, and they took me to the hospital. Cathy came the next day.

3. I was outside, looking around, when I slipped on the slope, the ground was wet from the rain. I called for help and a neighbour man, who was big and strong, came and carried me into the house. He made me a sandwich and a cup of coffee. His wife, who was a nurse, fixed my arm and all my cuts and scratches. She called Cathy who took me to the hospital. And I came home the next day and then went to rehab.

4. I'm not sure what happened, but a big strong man came with his wife and he carried me into the house. They called Cathy and she took me to the hospital. 

Now, we don't know why she was outside. We suspect it was because she wanted to look at all the work the Rural Service had done on her yard. It had been raining heavily, so the ground was very wet. She did slip on the slope, not because of long grass, it had been mowed 3 days earlier, she wasn't gardening, it had all been done, and there was no washing on the line. 

The woman who heard Mum calling for help, was a nurse, and was staying at her relatives house just behind Mum. Her husband, who was big, did not carry Mum into the house, they helped her up and she walked in. No one made her a sandwich, but she was having a cup of tea when I got there. The woman examined Mum, who had no cuts or scratches, and determined that at the least she had a dislocated shoulder, but suspected it was worse. I did drive Mum to the hospital. In all her versions there is elements of what really happened, but the recurring theme is the big strong man who carried her into the house, if I was a psychiatrist, I'd probably be able to determine why LOL.

I stayed at the hospital till about midnight, and signed her in, signed her in for surgery and signed the DNR. Get to the hospital the next day, and they've decided she's too high a risk for surgery, so they are going to let it heal on it's own, and she'd get physio. 

It was decided to transfer her to Katoomba Hospital for rehab, so after 3 days in Nepean off she went. She's been there ever since. It's been over 35 days that she's been in hospital all up. We had a meeting with the physio, occupational therapist, social worker, and doctors, and determined that we all agreed it was in her best interest to go into a nursing home. She's had too many falls, each one more serious than the last, and her place is high risk for falls. We cannot sit with her 24/7, cause we have to work, and no one can afford at home care. She can't live at my place, it's to high risk for her as well, and my older brothers place is worse. It has not been an easy decision to make, but it is the right one. 

What this means is 2 things, First had to find her a placement, usually means you have to wait for someone to die, and we have to sell her house to pay for this placement. It was lucky that the only place I had a chance to visit, actually opened up with a room for her. It's not the first choice of rooms, but it's comfortable and the nursing home is great. She gets to stay in the Blue Mountains, albeit further up than she has lived, but surrounded by bush and the beauty that comes with it. Her and Dad built the house she now owns, she's lived there since she was 21, or it could of been 20, she can't remember, and I wasn't born LOL. They bought the block, built the garage, lived in the garage and built the house. My older brother was born when they still lived in the garage, which is amazing. Can't picture myself in a garage with a baby lol. 

Telling her what is happening is exhausting. She doesn't remember what you've just told her, so you say it all over again and again. What she does understand is that she needs to move to a nursing home. When I told her which one it was, she said, oh I would of preferred that one in Blaxland (there is none), or maybe where Nelda is ( Nelda has been her friend for years and lives in a retirement village where her and her late husband bought a unit. It does not do dementia care.) Her idea of living where Nelda is, is that they can go out together, go shopping etc. Ummm no you can't lol. Today she was telling me how she doesn't want to be stuck in the home with no chance of going out to the shops for a walk. She isn't grasping the concept, she is still thinking of it as living in a unit or something similar where she cooks and cleans, but has nurses on call. I just say to her that of course you can, not going to upset her, and since she doesn't remember what I just said, she'll ask again anyway. 

When I arrived this afternoon, she asked if I was there to take her home, so I had to explain it all again to her. When I left, she asked when I was taking her home, so I just said Tuesday. When she does grasp the whole nursing home thing, she then wants to know if my younger brother Andrew will be moving in with her. To that I will always say no, not going to pretend that's happening lol. Through it all she has been concerned about him, she's worried about where he is going to go, I tell her that he's an adult, he's over 50, he has a job, he can find somewhere to live. She will then be astounded at the idea of him being over 50, but me being 58 she grasps lol. 

This morning, I met my older brother at Mums to start putting some stuff together for her. I culled her wardrobe last year, pretty sure I mentioned it in a blog, but she still has so much. She had clothes she's never worn, and yet would always insist she needed more. She had clothes that are too big, or too small, pants with no elastic in the waist, pjs that are falling apart and a million pairs of socks and gloves. We've loaded a small suitcase, with some clothes for summer, undies, and socks. I have a bag with a selection of shoes, another with toiletries and her lap quilts are piled on top. I've packed enough clothes to last her a week, we filled a garbage bag full of us to send to charity, and we haven't begun to clean out her room. I will store her winter stuff somewhere here, as she only has a small wardrobe at the nursing home. I'm also planning on taking her chest of drawers up, which was full, but is now emptied. Between the 2 I will pack away enough clothes for her, and when it gets colder, will do a swap over. I was totally merciless with the clothes and jewellery. 2 drawers full of socks? No one needs that much. She has a huge built in robe, filled to the brim as well as clothes hanging in the study and others packed away. I have to make sure she has something for all 4 seasons, and if she needs anything more, it can be bought later. One thing I'm very glad of and that's that she will no longer be able to just duck to the shops and buy the paper, as she would always come home loaded down with absolute crap. 

I cleaned out the bathroom, a full drawer and a half of makeup that is expired, or just empty. All gone now, took a small handful of makeup that was okay, shampoo etc, and it's not even enough to fill one of the drawers in her bathroom lol. But she does not need the rest of it. I can't help but think of how much she could of saved if she hadn't bought it all, such a waste of money. We will need to clear out the rest of the house, and finish her room of course, but it's way to much for 3 people to do in one morning. My younger brother Andrew, will take the fridge, microwave, washer and dryer as well as some bits of other furniture, and his own bedroom furniture. I'd like to give him an advance on any inheritance, but it will all depend on how much we get for the house. The bond we pay to the nursing home is fully refundable, and I want to set aside money for a funeral, and anything else she needs while she is still alive. 

The whole thing is stressful, but once done, she will be in a warm, safe place, and able to live her life out comfortably. She's close enough for us all to visit, and we can, of course take her out, so for things like her birthday or Christmas she can spend with us. She wants me to take her shopping when I go, but no I won't. I'd rather take her out for morning tea, or lunch, which will be more relaxing. 

So first, get her settled, next get the house cleaned up, have a garage sale, and sell the house. Then we can start to relax a bit, sigh. I've got a meeting with the solicitor in the morning, and on Tuesday, an agent is coming to give me a valuation on the house. It's all happening folks. Through it all, I can't do anything but continue to move, it has to be done, it is happening, no time to sit and think, no time to worry, just push on and get it done. Then I can sit down and pass out LOL. 

Catch yas
Cathy