I'll help you pack

There comes a time in every mothers life when finally all the kids are moved out of home and getting on with their own lives (well we can hope they all move out). It doesn't mean that they stop being our kids or that they are grown up, cause as any mother knows your kids are never grown up. They will always and forever be those rosy cheeked rascals running around in the park, those cuddly babies that could wrap you around their little finger, and even those obnoxious teens who seemed to know it all. 

Even when they have their own children, they are still our babies. As a mother we know our children aren't perfect (that's reserved for our perfect grandchildren), but we love them unconditionally and would throw ourselves under a bus to save them from harm. We let them learn life's lessons whether they are heartbreaking or not, and are there to support them when they fall. We laugh with them, we yell at them, we cry with them and for them, we hug them and we love them. They are a part of us and they will be for the rest of our lives and beyond. 

But what happens when they leave the nest, what do we do then? Well in my case I'll probably move the treadmill and the spare TV into his room after sterilisation. Then I'll put a bed in the snakes bedroom (yep the snake will be going right along with him). And I'll sleep in, get up for work, vacuum and clean whenever I want, not when he's awake. Go to sleep without the sounds of the TV or stereo, and not get woken when he comes home at 3 am. I'll only cook if and when I want to, I will probably only do laundry once a week, and if I want to have a shower in the middle of the night I damn well will. 

Then I'll sit there and listen to how quiet the house is, and wonder what my kids are doing. Are they okay without me? Do they need any help with anything? And I'll wonder when I get to see them next. 

I'll still be a mother, but I won't be the same mother that I am now. I know I'll feel unneeded, unnecessary even and as I'm a widow I'll be alone. So I'll call up the kids, or grab a random grandchild to spend the night with Nana. But whatever I do, I won't be sitting quietly, I won't suddenly conform to the ideal of the Nana, and I won't suddenly become old. I simply refuse!!!!!!!!!!

I think I've been a fun mother, I know I've done something right as my kids are naturally perfect. We don't take ourselves or anyone else seriously and sometimes people have been shocked by us, but we don't care. We've always known that introducing anyone new to the family to our dead husband and father was weird, but if they can't handle it, they don't make the grade. Life is meant to be lived as best you can with whatever you have, even if it is only a little. 

It will be strange when it finally happens, I have never lived alone. From the moment my eldest was conceived I was a mother and that has defined me for all these years. So when the time comes I'll adjust as I've always adjusted and move on to the next phase. 


Catch yas
Cathy