Mother. That's the title on todays blog, wait that sounds like I blog everyday but I'm too damn lazy to do that LOL. How about, that's the title of my latest blog and it's a bit of a rant.
We all know someone, maybe we are even related to them, they call themselves a mother, but behave in the least motherly fashion anyone possibly could. Even spiders who eat their mate leaving their children with a single parent to raise them are better than these woman are.
A mothers love has no conditions on it, we don't love our children because they visit all the time or because they take us out. It doesn't even matter if they only call us when they need our help. We love them, and that's all there is to it, there is nothing else to say. We raise them nurture them, help them to grow into the amazing adults they can become, and even if we think they could of lived their lives a little better, we don't care, they are ours and are loved, now and forever. I don't need to share the 'repost if you love your daughter/son' on Facebook, to be honest I don't care if people don't think I love my kids if I don't do the reposts, they know I do and my friends and family know I do and they are the only ones who matter to me.
I've raised my kids alone, and it wasn't easy, we struggled and did without. But one thing that was always clear was the love. Sure they'd have their oh mum doesn't love me or she loves you better moments, I had them so I expect them to do the same. But they know I love them, and they know I would do anything within my power for them, and not ask for anything in return. I don't try and use the old guilt trip on them, you never call, you only call when you want something, blah blah. Get a freaking life and enjoy the moments you do spend with your kids.
I would like nothing better than to be able to be in a relationship that allowed me the freedom to not have to work, but I don't have that, and as far as I can tell, never will. I value every moment spent with the kids, and the grand kids. If I could see them more than I do now I would be so much happier. I'd love to be able to go to one of the girls houses in the middle of the week and say, hey get out of the house, treat yourself for a couple of hours. Or take the grand kids to the park for a play while Mum relaxes, catches up on some much needed sleep, or does some cleaning, which we all know is easier child free. But I can't, I hate that I can't, but until I retire that's the way it has to be. So if one of the kids asks me to babysit, and I'm not working, I jump at the chance. (Girls this doesn't mean you can call me and ask for babysitting as soon as you read this LOL)
I see mums all around me shouting to the world what a good mother they are, no need to shout people if your really a good mother, the world already knows it. But more importantly your kids know it. I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes, and who hasn't, I dare you to say your perfect, and keep a straight face. The one constant that I live with everyday is the fact that the kids come first. It was the love for my girls that finally got me to move out of a relationship that would of ended up destroying us all completely. It is that love that drives me everyday. When I met my second husband, it was the fact that my younger daughter loved him straight up that led me to taking the next step. A step that led us around by the nose for a few years before we lost him. We had some wonderful years and the girls were joined by a brother who shared in our love.
You can't say you would do anything for your kids, and offer to help them out, and then turn around and take it all back. The world doesn't work that way, if you did it to a friend you'd soon find yourself without that friend, you can't treat people like they are your belongings, they do not owe you anything if you do not give anything back. You must love them unconditionally and respect the people they have grown into.
So to all of you who claim to be a mother, think about it, do you love your kids unconditionally and despite their faults? Do you offer to babysit at anytime and then bitch about how many times they have asked you to watch the kids? Do you tell everyone that so and so is a user and a bad son, after years of declaring to all and sundry that he was the best of the bunch? Here's a tip, get off your arse and go and visit your kids or kid, take the first step. After all, you are the one who raised them, so if you don't like them or the way they treat you, you only have yourself to blame. Don't offer to do something and then take it back, stick to your word, and when you call yourself a mother actually act like one.
After you have had your first child, you are forever after a mother, even when you are gone, you still life on as a mother, in their hearts and blood, and the hearts and blood of their children, and their childrens children, etc.
Catch yas
Cathy
PS. Yes this is about someone I know. Sorry for ignoring any dads out there who might read, including mine LOL, this does work both ways :)
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