Liar Liar

One of the joys of Alzheimers is the incredible dreams that the sufferer considers to be real life. They are so vivid that they are factual to them. Of course this means that their reality is completely skewed because their dreams are pure fiction. They are also pretty extravagant in their detail so they cannot be believed to be dreams. 

Mum has dreamt about going to hospital, going shopping, making doctors appointments, me getting my hair cut short (that is a fantasy of hers and will never happen), being asked to drive someone somewhere (ummm we aren't letting you behind a wheel so yeh dreaming), buying something, people visiting or taking her out somewhere right down to saying that she did the washing all day and was out in the garden working, when it's actually been raining all day and she's been sewing. The individual dreams are truly works of art, while in hospital she had surgery on her back and was released that same day as she had to drive one of her grandkids to swimming lessons. Okay, fact she did have back surgery several years ago, she was in hospital and rehab for 3 weeks not overnight. Another fact, her grandkids all know how to swim, although many years ago when they were all young she did actually take them a few times for me. Now she could of been talking about the great grandkids, but nope she never takes them anywhere in her dreams as she has no car seat. Obviously my adult kids (her grandkids) don't need a car seat as they are adults. Now you and me would just laugh at this incredible dream, but to her, nope it's no dream. I had phoned her and asked her to take them, she will even be dressed and ready to go. After I explain that no this isn't happening, she will look at me then say "Are you sure?" "well yes mum I know my adult children can swim." Then she'll say, "Why did you ask me to take them then?" "Ummm I didn't. Why would I when I know they can swim." She will then get this look in her eye, the mother of old when I was telling her some bullshit about where I'd been and she knew it was a lie, but was choosing to believe me. But now it's just the same look with confusion and wonder as she tries to process why I would lie to her. That is how realistic it all is, she'd rather believe the dream than her daughter, who is an obvious liar. 

Of course she wouldn't come out and say I was a liar, that would be rude, and it is possible that she's wrong although you can see her struggling to believe she could possibly be wrong LOL. If I mention something from the past that she cannot remember, I'm either lying or trying to trick her. Not sure why I would do either, but if I insist I'm not lying she'll get all shitty with me, so I just say okay. I know it happened I know it's real, but if it's too hard for her to remember then there is no harm in letting her think she's right. And hey she forgets about the whole convo in 5 seconds anyway so no biggie LOL. 

Her back surgery dream was really detailed, down to the doctor who did her original surgery to the hospital she had it in. She will give you details about the op, and yet at the time she was really in hospital, she would ask me when they were going to do it, despite her already having the surgery. She told her sister who called her that for some reason she'd been left in her hospital bed in a field. Now that obviously didn't happen, but was very realistic to her. Later when we discussed it, she couldn't imagine why she would tell her sister something like that and laughed it off as the anesthetic. It probably was just that, and for anyone who has experienced the same thing after surgery or the surgery of a loved one, that is just what the Alzheimers dreams are like. Totally real to the sufferer, flights of fantasy in the real world. The difference now is that Mum totally believes these dreams, it's hard to convince her that they aren't real, but she does forget them. Of course like any person she sleeps every night, so she'll have fresh dreams, but again she does forget them. 

At the moment we can be thankful that she isn't taking off in the middle of the night like my grandfather (her father) used to. My grandmother would be awoken at some ridiculously early hour of the morning, by either a taxi driver or the police bringing him home. She had the foresight to have his name address and phone number on a wrist band for him, which given his propensity for nightly wanders came in handy LOL. Or there's the time he convinced the bank manager that there was a strange woman living in his house trying to steal his money, so the bank arranged for him to be the only one able to make withdrawals, something that caused never ending embarrassment for my grandmother and hilarity for us. We really are a bunch of sickos lol. 

When Nana was in the nursing home and had dementia, I delighted in spinning her tales. She would totally believe me but as the story got more and more fantastic she would stop me and say, "Cathy are you making that up?" and I'd burst out laughing. We would both have a good laugh over it, and it became our thing, of course she'd forget constantly that we were doing it, so it was even more fun for her, kind of like the surprise of the joke just never ended, and I have to admit to getting a kick out of it myself. Mum and I have a good laugh too, it's not all doom and gloom. She's even started using the line "I have Alzheimers." almost like a weapon, so I'll come back with something like "You can't use that excuse for the rest of your life." She'll fire back with "What excuse?" and we will crack up. There will come a day when she forgets that she has Alzheimers, I live in hope that a cure will come before then, and I know the advances with treatment via ultrasound have been amazing. Just wish it would hurry up and be available to all, not just the test subjects. 

Catch yas
Cathy