Began the weekend with the normal routine of shopping with Mum on Saturday morning. I noticed she had a couple of bandaids on her finger, and she told me that she had cut her finger. She mentioned that she wanted the pharmacist to see if she would need to see a doctor I said, "How big is the cut?" she replied "I hit the bone but there's no pain" I was thinking ummm okay, whacked yourself with a knife and there's no pain? So I offered my unsolicited opinion, "You need to see a doctor"
Totally ignoring what I said she went off finishing her shopping, with me reiterating several times we should go to the medical centre, in between emptying her trolley of all the stuff she didn't need. She should seriously thank me for all the money I'm sure I save her each week, but I digress. As we are pushing our trolleys back to the car she says, "I think I should go see Sam" (Sam is Dr Labib her doctor for years and years), "It's Saturday, he's not open." "
I will go and speak to the pharmacist then" So despite me telling her to go to the medical centre, it took a complete stranger to convince her she needed to see a doctor.
Her description of cutting it with a knife, was very true, but she didn't mention the fact that while she couldn't feel any pain at all, the whole finger was bent at the first knuckle and couldn't be straightened. So off to the medical centre, unable to get in straight away and we have to go back later. Doctor took one look, referred to hospital recommended surgery.
So off we trek back home to get a bag packed for her. Then off on our adventure. While we are waiting in the Emergency room (which was practically empty), she talked and talked, I zoned. Someone came in, sat down and then got called up, she loudly proclaims, "They came in after us" "Shhhh Mum, they always take kids first they get priority" next up is an old lady who looks like she's dying "She's younger than me why is she going in first?" "Probably because if they don't take her she'd die out here, and that couldn't be good for business Mum." "Well we were here first." This continued in the same vein for about 20 mins when she got called in, I thought that was great, only waiting 20 mins. She told the nurse that we'd been waiting for hours, and she was about ready to give up. I laughed so they'd think she wasn't serious, and made a point of mentioning very quickly she had Alzheimers (I'm thinking this is going to come in handy).
They checked her out and decided that yes she'd need surgery and we'd just wait for a bed to open. I settled in for a long wait, I've been down this road before. "Why do I keep sliding off this bed?" "It's basically plastic your sitting on Mum, why don't you sit sideways instead of half lying down." "I'm in hospital, I'm supposed to lie down" was her retort.
Nurse came to check on her vitals, and ask all the normal questions, like do you have diabetes etc. Mum proudly proclaimed no to all, and stated she came from a line of women who lived long lives. She went on to tell the nurse that her mother had lived till she was 101, and that she herself was 83. I'm zoning away as I tend to but, hang on what? "Mum, your not 83, your 79." "Rubbish do the math" "2015 minus 1936, your 79. Remember Mum I'm good at math." I have to say that my response totally stumped her LOL. I also reminded her that Dad had turned 80 last birthday and she was younger than him.
In the meantime the nurse is cracking up at us arguing over her age. I said to her "Mum you can only use Alzheimers as an excuse for so long" that had us all laughing. After sitting in a waiting room, listening to Mum whinge about not being able to change the channel on the TV that was showing golf blah, she finally got a bed. Once we got up to the ward we were told her surgery would not be done that night but they'd do it Sunday. I went home after seeing her settled, and collapsed in my bed LOL.
Sunday dawns bright and early and off I go back down. I was regaled with stories about how she couldn't sleep all night because of the lights shining in her eyes and the price of the TV was ridiculous. While I had her griping in one ear, the other was being blasted by the junkie on the other side, talking on the phone to someone "Fucking ell mate, get your fucking arse down here. Yeh she's a fucking bitch, she's my daughter mate but I tell ya she's a fucking bitch." Lucky for us she got visitors, who also spoke the same colourful language just as loudly as she did. I seriously felt like getting up and kissing the nurse when she came and told said junkie she could leave.
Once the room had quieted down, I grabbed the remote for the TV and turned it on. "How did you do that?" "Pushed the button that says TV" "But I told them I wouldn't pay for it." "Mum your not paying, you get it free cause your using your health fund, just like I get free parking." "Oh, turn it off I don't want to watch it."
For 5 hrs I listened to "I'm thirsty, get me some water." "Nope your fasting." "Water does nothing, I'm allowed water." "Nope your not." Yet again she didn't believe me, so I had to get a nurse to tell her she couldn't have anything. I'm not sure if she looks at me and sees the 5 yr old she used to be able to push around LOL, or not, I'm thinking I wouldn't want that 5 yr old driving me around. 5 hrs after I arrived, 1 million complaints about not being able to have water, a gazillion mentions of how hungry she was, and she finally got taken to surgery. Took a while so I took the chance to grab something to eat, and drink and relax. Started napping in her chair when they finally bought her back, and she was fine. The nurses said if she checked out fine I could take her home tonight so I decided to come home and eat, and just get away from the place.
When I got back down there, she goes "Oh hi, thanks for coming to visit." "Mum I've been here all day." "Yes I know, but thanks for visiting." She does that alot, when you correct her, she'll say yes I know. For fun, I'll ask her why she said blah blah if she knew, just for a laugh. Her responses vary from, just checking to see if you knew to I just wanted to make sure I remembered right LOL. To be honest, it's because she didn't know. Suddenly she throws back the covers on her bed, "Mum, where are you going?" :"I'm going to get dressed, I need to go home." "Sorry Mum have to wait till your discharged." "Well just take this ridiculous tape off my finger so I can." "You've also got a drip in your arm." "Oh, well I'll just wait till the nurses say I can go then." She was looking around the ward at the floor, no idea why, a nurse came in and she goes "Are all the floors here lino or tile or is there some with carpet?" The nurse looks at me, I smack myself in the head. "Mum, it's a hospital, imagine trying to get blood and gunk out of carpet, there is no carpet." "Well it would be nicer if there was." The guy came around with the coffee and tea cart, she proceeded to order a long black capuccino, "She'll have a black coffee thanks" I said to the bemused attendant LOL. "But I want a capuccino." "Sorry Mum, I'd like a bullet in my head right about now, but we don't always get what we want." LOL.
On the drive home, she told me how she'd been in for so long she'd forgotten what home looked like, oh this was after she tried to get into a strangers car, that looked nothing like ours LOL. "Mum you only went into hospital last night." and yes folks you guessed her response, "I know." lol. Driving along she asked me why I didn't take the short cut, "What shortcut, I'm driving the highway, Old Bathurst is just up there, you can see the lights." "If you turned left back there it would of been faster." it wouldn't of, in fact it probably would of added 20 mins to the trip. We turned right on the green arrow, and she says "This is a bit risky when there's no light." " Wouldn't of turned if there wasn't a green light mum, I'm not going back to the hospital, they'd probably make us share a room."
But after a horrendous stressful weekend, all is well, she's back home, I'm hoping she's tucked up in bed, and I'll visit her tomorrow during lunch break and after work.
As for me, I need to get some sleep too, but after all this, I want to get drunk and party LOL.
Catch yas
Cathy
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